the Dog Lover’s Cat
By cabruce
- 1049 reads
I will never be more than a cat
trapped in a dog lover’s home.
There will always be
a certain obligation
to take care of me,
but there is no compassion
behind the care.
He will pet me when I call,
but he never seeks me out.
His eyes turn, longingly,
to dogs passing by,
and when he thinks I’m not
looking, he runs his eyes over me
and sighs in disappointment
and disdain. I will never
be close to what he wishes for.
I cannot become
what he wants me to be.
When I crawl into his bed
at night, he pushes me away
and closes his door to shut
me out. I long to feel
the warmth of his body
next to my own, but
the furnace's heat will have to do
though my thin cat bed is no replacement
for my owner’s soft skin.
When I get lonely, I go to his door
and settle myself into a ball
listening to him breathe in his sleep.
He locks me in the laundry room
whenever guests come by.
Sometimes the visitors ask to meet me
and my ears perk up,
but my owner quickly changes the subject,
unwilling to be bothered.
My favorite moments are when
He is glued to the TV
and I jump up to sit by him
and his hand, absentmindedly reaches over,
to stroke my back.
I am overjoyed and purr, leaning up against
his side, the only place I’ll ever wish to be.
But these moments never last.
Sooner or later, I will mess up
and he will yell again.
My heart breaks when his eyes are full
of rage. I try to go
and comfort him, begging him
to forgive me, but
he throws me away, cursing me.
He never wanted me.
He wishes he could get rid of me.
Why didn’t he get a dog?
Why can’t I be more like a dog.
I love him utterly, completely.
but I hate him because
he has made me
hate myself.
I know it to be true
that I will never be able
to love myself
until he loves me.
And I know for a fact
he never will.
But I can’t leave
he’s my owner
and I have no where else
to go.
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Comments
I'm presuming this isnt
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I'm glad you spoke up for
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