Waiting

“Can I get that burger for six? Now! Please!” I yelled as I whirled past the kitchen with a tray full of drinks. I was flabbergasted why that day of all days they had to call me in. I could barely hold the tray steady. My phone weighed heavily on my mind and pocket. I kept sneaking glances at it in between orders. I felt like I may fall apart.

“Um can I get some ketchup here?”

“Ma’am, where’s my soda?”

“Excuse me, excuse me, can we get our check? We would like to leave.”

“How long will it be on that burger? We are in a hurry for a very important-”

“I’ll be with you in just a minute!” I said, trying to sound upbeat as I side step the customers. It was so busy, but I could hardly focus. I kept putting my hand down to my phone. Had it rung yet? Did the doctor know? Oh God, what was I going to do? I tried to smile as I passed tables. I dropped the tray down and passed out the drinks. “Okay, two Cokes, one Diet Coke, one Sprite, and three Buds.”

“Better get me another one,” the third Bud drinker smiled. “I drink fast.”

“Right,” I say as I turn away, “I’ll be right back with-”

“Actually honey, you can stay right there,” he interrupted me. I really didn’t need another pushy customer at the time. Orders were piling up and the doctor could call at any second.

“We’re ready to order.”

“I’ll be with you in a moment, I just have to take care of -,” I recited politely like they taught us to. People were waiting and the doctor wouldn’t leave the results in a message.

“Sugar, you’ll take care of us first,” he demanded. I hated it when they called you pet names. It was too personal. Like they were trying to get inside you. My hand touches my stomach lightly.

“We have some place to be after this,” the Bud drinker informed me.

And I may have a little person inside me, I thought as my anger rose. Who’s got more important things to do, Bud?

“I’ll have the quarter pounder,” the Bud drinker announced, “with lettuce and tomatoes. At least two, don’t skimp me, Sweetie. And make sure there is some mustard with it.”

“Okay,” I said exasperatedly and pulled out my notepad. I nod impatiently as the rest of the table orders. What am I going to do if it’s positive? I asked myself over and over. What will Max say? It had only been three months since the wedding. We weren’t ready for this. I turned away from the table.

“Oh, oh, honey,” the Bud drinker called me back loudly. I helplessly turn around, patience waning. The Bud drinker put his arm around my waist as he leaned forward. Instinctively,I put my hand over my belly. He stunk of sweat and coffee. And his hand was a little too low for my liking.

“Make sure it’s rare,” he sneered, “the burger.”

“Right, rare,” I confirmed and pulled away.

“I like my meat soft,” he continues and whispers, “just like you, baby.” I didn’t react and scurried away. I would normally have said something or at least thought something, but he had said it. That word. That word. Baby, I thought in terror, what if I’m having a baby?

Busboys dodged me as I returned to the kitchen and hung up my order. I grabbed two hamburgers and begun the long walk over to table twenty six. A couple with a baby had been seated over at fourteen. They looked young. They could have been Max and my age. I had to turn my eyes away as I set down the hamburgers and smile at the pair.

“Um, we asked for mayo.”

“Right, I’ll be right back with it.” I stole another glance at fourteen. The father was holding the baby while the mother made faces at it. It squealed with delight and I found myself smiling. If they can do it, why couldn't we? Max wanted kids eventually. And I...I suppose I always knew it would happen. I just thought it would be later. When I had a better job. I retrieved the mayo and grabbed the water pitcher on my way back, stopping occasionally to fill drinks. I dropped off some napkins at table nineteen for a family with three kids. They have ketchup everywhere. I found myself shaking again. I would never want three kids. I could barely take care of these customers, let alone three kids. What if it twins or worse?! I began to panic as my heart began to race.

“Here’s the mayo,” I said mechanically when I reached twenty-six, “Anything else?” They simply shook their heads, mouths full and meal already half gone. It’s not so awful I forced myself to think. At least we’re married and have some savings. I hoped it would not be impossible. I hoped Max would not be incredibly disappointed. I hoped we could somehow manage to remain happy. Someone spilled a soda and I nearly slipped in it. Again, my hand went straight to my stomach. I waved off the customers’ apology. I took out my rag and began to clean up the mess.

That’s when my phone buzzed.

I froze right there in the middle of the dining room, ice cubes in hand. Oh God, I manage to think, this is it. I sprung up and dashed past the kitchen. I could hear them call out to me, but I made a break for the supplies closet. Slamming the door behind me, I whipped out my phone.

“He-hello?” I stammered as my heart raced

“Hello, Mrs. Ludowski,” the doctor droned, “the blood test came back.”

“Yes?” I squeaked, urging him on, while at the same time wishing he’d stop.

“Yes, looks like you had a faulty test. You’re not pregnant, good thing you ask for the blood test.”

Silence falls. I waited for the rush of relief, but it never came.

“Well, have a good day Mrs. Ludowski.”

“Oh, right,” I murmured, coming back to life, “you too-” And they were gone.

I slumped against the door just as it was wrenched open.

An older waitress glared at me and hissed, “What are you doing in here, Chrissy?”

“The spill,” I murmured in a daze, “towels.”

“The bus boys can do that,” she waved me out. “Come on, we got orders waiting.”

I grabbed a tray of food as the cooks shot me dirty looks. I floated across the room like a ghost. The baby at fourteen had started to cry. The father handed it to the mother, who cradled it lovingly in her arms. Its cries quieted as she soothed it. Beneath the last falling tears, it smiled and the mother kissed it on the forehead.

“Order up, Chrissy!”

“Right,” I said and turned my back on the little family. “Coming.”