Longing for an Absolute

I want to call you up on the phone
just to hear your voice.
I want to write you a letter
just to see your words.
I want to wrap your arms around me
just to feel your warmth.
I want to kiss you boldly
just to taste your lips.
I want to slap you across the face
for not texting me back.
I want to ignore you forever
for ever not thinking twice about how I feel.
I want to embarrass you in front of all your friends
for ever choosing them over me.
I want to spite you
so that you regret.
So many things I want in this world
and all that really matters, you deny me.
The closest to promise I ever get with you
is "Hello."
This void - you abandoned me here.
Caught between yes and no.
This maybe not, maybe so.
Slowly decomposing my resolute.
One of these days,
I am going to get hurt
and you will be at fault
for letting me want.