So sorry but please understand

I am sorry for the gold
That I wasted on my tears
I cant talk to you
I have many fears

You know alot
I feel I can trust you
But you are so troubled
I know you need a hand too

I wanted you to listen
But you gave me your own view
What happened to my neuterer
After what weve been through

Maybe I didnt want to tell you
In fear I might male you cry
Dont feel guilty, understand
But I promised I would try

Just try look beyond the lies
Try see how I really feel
Please dont shed a tear
But this to me is real

I apologise for making you upset
I just want you to see
That I have been hurting
Just care and look out for me.