Can't seem to get a girl

By Caolan_le_Paddy

Wed, 12 Nov 2008
  • 959 reads
2 comments
 

Hey baby,
I noticed you across the bar
I was wondering maybe
This might seem a bit bizarre but
I gave ya a wink and a smile
And you turned away all shy
I could tell you liked my style
I’m the sort of guy
You want to be by
So how about it babe?
Am I getting lucky tonight?

I wake up some time later,
Damn she hit me rough
My nose is bleeding,
My heart weeping
I just can’t seem to get a girl
I mean,
I’ve got the glowing eyes,
The amazing style
The moves like Elvis
What more do girls want?

Sure, I’m a bit fat
Slumming a second chin
Face like a rat
Smell like a bin
But apart from that I’m perfect
What do you expect?
I’m the leading subject,
I’m here to protect,
To inspect
To object
To select the perfect woman
That will scratch my itch
Even if she’s a bit of a

But they don’t see that to me,
I’ve gotta work for you
I gotta sing for you
I gotta dance
Take a chance
Advance
With a bit of Romance
Put you in a trance
Yer baby I’ve gotta have ya!

I wake up some time later
Damn she hit me rough
My nose is bleeding,
My heart weeping
But hey look over there
A fresh bird just walked in
Groom the hair,
Check the breath,
Put on the style,
I’m back in the game
As she takes her seat
I move forward,
Drop her a hint
Blow her a kiss
Slamming my hand on the table,
Holding in the pain
And the tears seeping out.

Hey baby,
I noticed you across the bar…

Certificate U
Poem
Random
Humour

Comments

Submitted by jennifer on
You need '...' after 'a' to indicate the ellipted 'bitch' Feels more like a song than a poem - the repetition would work in a song but it feels unnecessary here - perhaps a little editing before you hand it in? J x

 

Submitted by Caolan_le_Paddy on
It's the style I've grown to write poetry in, gotten used to it from "Gristo" as I find the style makes my poetry a bit better. Poetry meant for Performance I mean. But if the repetition makes it TOO much like a song I could Edit it. Thanks for the comment (Y)