Worst Day ever

Friday 3rd August

As if today could have gone any better, job interview, meeting Jordan and going to dinner with the girls. As if I could have gone back in time, I would have stopped this entire day from ever happening. Christ it’s as if nothing went the right way.

First off, job interview at 11am and what time does my alarm go off? 10:47am as if! The cat must have jumped on it and somehow changed the alarm. The ginger fur on the buttons confirms this, just what I needed. I love the fact he learned a new trick, but of all the things to learn he learns this. I swear I’m going to shot the damn thing.

I don’t want to be too late, first impressions and all that crap. But I have to look decent. I quickly jump out of bed, grab some gum, slipped on skirt and blazer and quickly applied some lipstick. Just as walk out the door, I pass the mirror in the hallway and realise I’ve not go a shirt on underneath my blazer and not only is my lipstick badly applied, it’s also a nasty sky blue colour. Why did I even have that colour?

After quickly rushing back upstairs, put on a shirt and whipped off my lipstick. I fixed my buttons as I ran down the stairs and slipped on some heels. My hair was a mess, my clothes were creased, if I had the slightest chance of getting a placement it’d be a miracle.

As I got into the car, I placed my keys into the rust the little bastard doesn’t start. After nearly breaking all my nails smacking the little piece of shite it starts. 11:01am, I’m late and I still have a 10 minute drive to get to there.

After finally reaching the building, my vocal chords on the edge of tearing because of the amount of screaming I had to get through to get here, I walked up to the front office.
“Hello how can I help you?” The usual conversation started.
“I have an interview with Mr. Black the head of department? It started at 11 though I’m a bit late.” I replied to her.
“Alright just give me a minute to call him.” Oh and it doesn’t stop there. After several minutes of waiting for the bastard on the other end of the phone to answer, someone else walks in and she just walks off!
“Hi how can I help you?” She answered me.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing I have a bastard interview now!” I screamed at her. Well, I wanted to anyway. What I actually said was… not as intense.
“I have an appointment with Mr. Black for 11am I’m running late can you get me to see him?” I was late enough; I didn’t want to be thrown out before I even see Mr. Black.
“One moment please.” I’m on the god damn verge of literally stabbing her. God just fucking strike me down!

After another 10 minutes for the bastard he walks in and calls me into his office. I regret not spending the time to fix my makeup.

“Um… you have a little something on your lips… and cheek…” He slowly said to me. I turned to the small mirror that was hanging on the wall and noticed I had lipstick across half my face. And the fat cows in the reception office didn’t even tell me! Some people!

At least this guy wasn’t bad looking, made the interview a little bit more interesting. Wouldn’t mind a shot at him, but I kept things sensible and relaxed. All was going alright until…

The sound of a woman climaxing coming from my pocket. I can’t believe someone had fiddled with my phone and actually applied that as my ring tone. My face lit up like a lantern, I was so embarrassed…

And who was it? “Hello Ms. Retard, do you like your long distance travel charges?” all that just for a fucking long distance travel charges??? Well then again I actually did need to change my long distance travel shizzle, but I think I’d have to give it a miss this time.

Oh Mr. Blacks face. Went the colour of a bell end, although I was bloody well looking like one. I had to end this before not even a miracle could fix this.
“Um… do you think we can redo this another time? I’ve just been having a chaotic day as you can probably see…” I think he got the picture. He simply nodded his head and told me he would call me when he was next free. Dodged a bullet then.

After leaving the building, I checked the time. Nearly 12pm had to meet up with Jordon at Subway. How romantic.

I pulled up in the car park and get this. As I reverse into the space I was sure as Hell I had enough space to pull in. A fucking bird flies into the windscreen, scares the shit out of me and I reverse back more and BANG! There goes my side mirrors. Now I start praying to God to strike me down.

I walk into the small, fast food place and see Jordon just about to order his food. I walk over to him and get him to order my food. I’m meant to be watching my weight, but after the interview from hell I think I earned a small treat. A subway melt or something, didn’t wound that good. But it was food none the less.

I told him about the interview and the phone, I swear he was choking. At least I was hoping he was choking, end this bastard’s life. I had to break up with him sooner of later, he just wasn’t doing me anymore. Not literally doing me, he still did that. Not very well but he still… why am I writing this?

After finishing my meal I leave to go home and go back to bed. And this time I let the cat out of the house and set the alarm. Thankfully this time it went off.

I spent the next hour actually getting ready properly, not like this morning. I got showered and ready properly, actually brushed my teeth this time (I swear Jordon was backing away from me because of my breath. Or something) but not that getting ready helped. It just made me look like a desperate woman on one of those speed dating stuff.

Yep, the girls stood me up. I turn up to the restraint and not a soul in sight. After waiting for half an hour, I just gave up. Walked out and left. End of.

So that’s it. Nothing exciting, just a shit hole of a day, love love love and crap won’t help me now. I’m going to bed and I think I can spare sleeping in this time. I just hope they call me about my long distance travel again… just not with the same ringtone.

[ Not my day as for one I'm a man. Ha. ]