The Battle Of The Sexes Beggars Belief.

"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride,
    She waltzed at me cryptically, arms by her side.
"Your words are like cottonwool buried in snow,
    I simile-d at her tipsily ” now where would this go?
"Such comparisons are commonplace; I've metaphor or five,
    She shot back immediately, while doing a hand jive,
"You think you're Travolta, but you've several left feet!
    She winked ” so provocative ” and turned up the heat.
"Send three and four pence, we're going to a dance,
    I non-sequitured strategically ” might give me a chance.
"We're there at the moment. Pay attention, you fool!
    She was losing it now, but I kept my cool.
"A dance is a battle and love is the war.
    That caught her off-guard ” I thought I might score.
But she picked up the rifle that lay by her side,
    And shot off my left feet ” she'd not be my bride!
And now I'm on horseback, 'cos as you can see,
    I can't walk anymore, can you spare three or four pee?