BSE song

Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy song

[Written about 1990. Before you read this, a reminder that John Gummer
fed his daughter hamburgers and told us British beef was safe. There
were also fears that cats were going down with it. I sing this in the
key of A. In the last verse the voice becomes increasingly hysterical
and bovine.]

Bovine spongiform encephalopathy,
With mad cows and mad cats, what'll we have for tea?
I don't believe the bullshit, we won't be eating beef,
Our daughter's vegetarian, at least that's some relief x 2

Moo, moo. Moo, moo.

Fish and chips and parsnips are really rather nice,
And you won't be petting pussy if you follow my advice.
Don't dare cuddle her, she might be full of germs,
Bump her on the head and let her feed the worms x 2

Moo, moo. Moo, moo.

Milk comes from cattle, and cattle are taboo:
Goulash is twice as bad as good old-fashioned stew.
But we'll be short of iron if we don't eat cow flesh -
Go out and eat a baby, there's plenty in the creche x 2

Moo, moo. Moo, moo.

Bovine spongiform encephalopathy,
Everyone's gone mad, that is excepting me.
Bovine spongiform encephalopathy,
Everyone's gone mad, that is excepting me-ee-ee.