Ugly Puggly 66

I stumbled past ranks of wilting bracken and tepid water turning green with algae. Tenement buildings in straight lines and a clutter of housing built thirty years ago. One-storey and two-storey boxes of stucco and brick. The last of sunlight making suburban walls shine in cul-de-sad-sacs and dead end city. A standard issue off license cum newsagents or newsagents cum off license with the licensee staring out at me, but I couldn’t remember his name. I ranted about betrayal and found myself outside my house, which wasn’t my house.

Searching for my van keys, I turned too quickly and Ugly Puggly and Dave appeared as if I’d summoned them as djinns.

‘Whit you daeing here?’ I growled at Ugly Puggly.

‘We’re helping yeh tae get up the road,’ he replied. Too brightly for my liking.

‘Well, fuckin don’t.’ I told him, before going back to scratching the itch on my neck and leaning against the van and searching for the keys. I tugged on the door and it slid open, but it caught me flat footed and I fell.

I challenged Dave. ‘You trip me up?’

He laughed. ‘I think yer daeing a good enough job yersel.’ Then he got antsy. ‘Yeh cannae go in there. You no longer own the van.’

I had a quick look inside the van to check it was mine. My crumbled sleeping bag near the window and a bag of empty cans decorated the floor underneath the table. ‘Don’t talk shite,’ I told him and stepped onto the ledge and into the dank interior.

I pulled the sleeping bag up around my midriff and stared out at them. ‘Whit you lookin at?’ I growled at them.

I heard Ugly Puggly telling Dave just to leave me and let me sleep it off. But he wasn’t having it. He jumped into the van and tried to drag me out by the arm.

‘Fuck off,’ I howled, and pulled away from his grip. In the tug of war, I fell backwards, knocking my head against the window. ‘Goin get ye ain van to sleep in.’ I brandished the blue quilted material of the sleeping back at him to show him who was in charge.

Swaying as I stood up, I leaned across the gap and when trying to pull the door shut, fell out of the van. Ugly Puggly tried to break my fall, but my head took a dunt. Wiping my forehead I could feel something sticky.

‘He’s cut,’ said Dave. ‘That’s aw we need. Noo we’ll huv tae bandage his heid. Whit next?’

Ugly Puggly laughed. ‘Well, at least he never drowned in the canal. And he’s no had another fit. But if hope has a sell-by date for somethin better, he’s nearin it.’

Molly appeared beside him and she was wearing her nightgown, so it must have been night. She’d that outraged expression on her face as if she’d been brought up sucking on crab apples and drinking vinager.

‘Whit’s he done noo?’ she squinted another look and her crabbiness grew eyebrows. ‘He smells like—’

‘He’s peed himsel,’ said Dave.

‘He’s hud an epileptic fit,’ Ugly Puggly told her, in a confidential low murmur. ‘We’ll need tae keep an eye on him.’

‘You can fuck off an all.’ My arms wind milled as she tried to help me up and she stumbled backwards. ‘You were nothin when I met yeh, workin in that wee shop. And that guy was chasing after yeh. Remember him? He’d nothing goin for him—apart for playin for Rangers and getting a Scotland cap or two—but he couldnae get yeh a descent Council house, could he?’

‘No Jim, he couldnae.’ She crouched down beside me, and brushed what little hair I had from the crack in my skull. ‘Let’s get you up the stairs and get you cleaned up.’

Her white hand wound its way into mine. She’d a strong grip and smelled of that expensive stuff which women wore. I pulled away. ‘Whit was that guy’s name again?’

‘It doesnae matter Jim. He’s history. Yer the father of my children.’

I leaned into her as we went up the stairs. Dave and Ugly Puggly following at our back.  She led me into the room she slept in. Not the one next door, I’d inhabited before we separated, but hers. The bed was so firm and crisp and clean everything seemed bathed in a golden light that I snuffled and sobbed into my dirty shirt.

‘I’ve no been able to take care of yeh,’ I admitted. ‘But I will noo.’

She knelt and took off my shoes and lifted my legs up and onto the bed. ‘That’s great Jim, just huv a wee sleep first.’

I yawned and muttered something I wasn’t sure what. I did shut my eyes and feel the pull of sleep, but bolted upright before she could tiptoe out of the room.

‘I cannae,’ I flung my legs across and wobbled as I stood. ‘I’m takin they two boys tae Paris.’

‘Just go back tae bed, Jim,’ Ugly Puggly said. ‘And we’ll see yeh in the mornin, when yer rested.’

‘I’m rested the noo.’ I glared at Molly. ‘I’ve already hud a sleep, huvn’t I?’

She looked at me, then at Dave and Ugly Puggly and giggled. Taking my arm, she guided me back towards the bed. ‘Ssshhh,’ she whispered and cooed, trying to get me to sit down.  I did, but stood up again and took a deep breath.

‘That’s me rested, noo.’ I stretched my arms above my head as if I’d just woken. But they weren’t easily fooled.

Dave tried turning the lights off. Perhaps he thought I was a pigeon, and my head would fall onto my shoulder and that would be me until he turned the light on again.

‘Yer not on,’ I cried, holding onto Molly’s arm and resting my head on her shoulder. ‘I need tae get tae Paris, or everybody is gonnae end up deid. And it’ll aw be my fault.’ I tried to explain to her. ‘I’ll be awrght after I get started. Aw yeh huv to dae is make the windscreen wipers work and tell me when to turn left at Calais.’

‘Jesus,’ she sighed. ‘It’s gonnae be a long night. I’ll tell yeh whit. I drive the first part of the way. And then yeh can take oer, when yer rested.’

I stared at her face to see if she was trying to trick me, like Dave with the lights. But she wasn’t pigeon minded. I nodded my head in agreement and almost fell over. ‘Alright then,’ I wet my lips. ‘You drive the first part and I’ll got for a wee sleep in the van and take oer when I wake up.’

‘Fine,’ she said, pushing me backwards onto the bed.

I sat up again. ‘You promise?’