Parade

I’d never seen a parade before, all the people in their fancy clothes. A bright sun lit the cloudless sky, beautiful enough that the people commented on it. Most of the people in the village had come along, stood close together as they waited for the procession. I was on the front row, people letting me past with soft pats on the shoulder. I had never seen so many faces, all so familiar yet so distant at the same time. I wasn’t thinking about them, I was thinking about the parade.

I wasn’t allowed to be in the parade, mother said I was too young, that I would understand. She had been kind and bought me a new dress, though it was hot and sticky in the summer heat, the material clinging to my thin arms and bandy legs. She had bought my sister a new dress too, though she’d not been with us to try it on. My mother had simply given the man her sizes and showed him what she wanted.

My mother and father were both in the parade, as were my two brothers and my uncle. My father, brothers, and uncle had an important role, I had been told, but I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. I stood at the front, craning my neck to see around the people, trying to see the parade coming.

The music played from speakers, softly, underneath the quiet chatter as people waited. I picked my dress away from my legs until my aunty Grace crouched down, brushing it smooth for me, taking my hand and holding it tightly. I didn’t really understand, I wasn’t going anywhere, but I let her hold it just the same, maybe it would help her feel better about being left to look after me instead of being in the parade with the others.

Mother had been so busy organising the parade, always a worried look creased between her eyebrows. I’d seen my father hugging her, brushing her hair down the back of her head to between her shoulders as he whispered into her ear. Parades must have been hard work, I had thought, what with so many people attending.

The man in the tall top hat came into view first, a long grand baton with a ball on the end that he carried with him. Next, my uncle, my brothers and my father, all showing the strength I knew them for as they carried their burden between them. Behind, my mother walked slowly, looking beautiful and nodding slowly to the people who smiled her way, though she didn’t smile herself, she kept her eyes fixed straight ahead. I wondered why a smile would be too much more to think about.

My aunt squeezed my hand tighter as the parade passed us, people filing in to join the crowd. I looked up at her for a moment, watching her face. Her gaze met mine, a quiet look of understanding. We both wanted to be in the parade.

When the parade was done, when the flowers people had been carrying had been laid down, my mother came and stood next to me, my father and brothers coming in to stand by her side. All along the line, they grasped hands, links in a chain that could not be broken. Only my sister was not there.

I knew the parade was for my sister, I’d been told many times that it had been organised for people to say goodbye to her. She’d been bought the beautiful white dress to be sent off in. Before us, a man began talking about my sister, about how much she was loved and how deeply she’d be missed. She wouldn’t be coming back; my mother had told me days before, I wouldn’t see her again.

Even before the parade that had been planned for her with so much detail and care, my sister was already gone.