Best Friends

We are about the same age. I’m 19 and he is 20, just a year off of each other! But he never lets me forget it, always spewing some crap about “respect your elders” and stuff like that. I let him think that it bothers me but I actually don’t mind. I only keep up the act because I think it’s funny that he gets so much satisfaction out of it. Besides, there are plenty of things that I tease him about, like going to karate classes.

Some days I pick him up to take him home if his parents are too busy. But sometimes I’ll go to the class just to watch, not because I’m interested… just to make him nervous. I come on the days that he least expects it, sit on the sidelines… and give him this glare, the kind that you can feel crawling on your back. It’s really funny to watch him try to focus on the sensei when he is so clearly distracted, thanks to me.

Anyhow, today was one of those days that I had to pick him up from class…

“Oh man, oh man I’m so late! He’s going to karate chop my ass for being so late!” I nervously chewed my lip as I sped down the road, shocked and grateful that I hadn’t been pulled over yet.

When I finally made it to the dojo there were no other cars in sight, everyone had gone, that’s how late I was. But the light in the dojo was still on… “Huh, they must have decided to let him stay inside while waiting for me. That was nice”

I text him ‘I’m here’…no response. I honk my car horn…no response, not even a peak through the window shades!

“I know he’s in there. If he’s going to make me come get him then fine, I’ll play his game” I said to myself with a snicker.

I made sure to lock my car before I went inside. Once I climbed the steps to the second floor, I saw the dojo room and looked through the door. I didn’t see him right away so I went in.

“Hellooo”  

Nothing.

“Jason?”

Still nothing. I decide to venture a little deeper and as I turn the corner to enter the equipment room…

“OOGGI BOOGGI!!!”

“AAAAAAA!!”

I put my hand over my chest a brace myself against the wall with the other, trying to catch my breath and recover from the scare.

“What the hell Jason! You scared the crap outa me.”

“Aaahahah I know! and you deserve it” he said, doubled over laughing.

“What? Why?”

“For being so late, duh”

“It wasn’t my fault!” I insisted. He gave me a sly grin…

“Sure it wasn’t. Anyway you need to take me home”

“Hold on, are we not going to address the fact that you screamed ‘ooggi booggi’ at me? Aren’t you a little old for that?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Age has nothin to do with it” he said

“Oh yeah? And why not? I know some people at school who would pay money for a video of you screaming ‘ooggi booggi’. Talk about blackmail, you would never hear the end of it!”

“Did it scare you?”

“Well yeah, but only because-“

“Then it worked and that’s all that matters” he said with a huge grin on his face.

“Hmm I guess you’re right, but if you tell anyone about what just happened ill kick your butt.”

“Not possible, I would lay you out like a tortilla”

“Oh yeah?” I said with a challenge in my voice. “Alright then, show me some of your mad ninja skills. Teach me the ways of kung fu”

“First of all its karate not kung fu. Second of all, your tiny insignificant mind could not even begin to comprehend the complexities that make up the art of karate and in turn” he paused for dramatic effect “my awesomeness” 

He said this with such passion that he had his fist clenched on his chest and did that ‘thousand mile stare’ and everything…he could be in a drama club.

“Try me”

 

After 30 mins of warm ups and low level kata’s he had me kneel on a mat while he paced in front of me, hands clasped behind his back.

“These are the exercises that I do every day to stay limber. Well, except for Sundays, we take Sundays off.”

“Wow that sounds intense. What’s next Jason?”

“Ah, ah, ah” he said, waving his finger “What did I tell you to call me while we’re in the dojo”

“My apologies oh wise one” I said as I bowed my nose to the floor, with a big grin on my face. “What I meant to say was what are we doing next sensei” with emphasis on the ‘sensei’

“Very well, I forgive you” he said as he patted my head.  “Next, I think we should play a game”

"A game sensei?”

“Yes my young grasshopper, a game” he played the part well, thumbing his chin as if he had a long wise beard. “A game of tag”

Breaking character, I crossed my arms and asked “Are you serious?”

He turns and looks down at me from his height advantage.

“You doubt the words of your sensei?” he said with a stern look on his face while stroking his imaginary beard.

“No, no, forgive me! I am your lowly grasshopper!” bowing my nose to the floor once more.

 

"Good. Now, here are the rules. Don't get caught, if you get caught you have to chase the other person until the time runs out, the last person to be tagged at the end of the timer losses. It will be set for five minutes"

"That's sounds too easy"

"I'll have you know, I am the reining tag champion.

"Well get ready to be knocked off your pedestal"

I jumped up and tagged him on the head, running away laughing. It didn't take him long to be right on my heels and tagged me on my back. After a little back and forth all over the dojo I realized that if I actually wanted to win this ridiculous game, I would have to get creative. I was currently the one running and made my escape back into the equipment room. I hid behind one of the body dummies, you know the ones that only have a torso.

 

Jason burst into the room and smiled once he saw me. He thought I was cornered, well the jokes on him because I actually have a plan. He runs towards me thinking it will be an easy victory. I push the torso at him and hold it there, only just keeping him at arm’s length. He can't reach me. He comes at me from the side, I dodge, keeping the body between us. It goes on like this more a little bit more, both of us trying to get the advantage. Finally he tags me and I start after him.

 

The timers almost up! I can hear it making the countdown from 10 seconds. He is right in front of me only inches away, I'm reaching with all my might, but I can't get to him.

I get desperate, I think to myself "this is my last chance" so I did what any sane person would do...I take a superman nose dive for his legs. Yeah… maybe not the smartest thing to do or the safest but it worked. As I land, I wrap both my arms around his legs and he face plants. It sounds like it hurt and I almost feel sorry for him...almost. The timer goes off.

I jump up and point down at him “YES, TAG! Hahaha I am victorious! Today I am the SENSEI! I am the TAG MATSER!!!" I shout while doing a fist pump in the air.

And that's how the night ended, with me being the tag master and Jason with a bruise on his face.