DerundoolDimensionHopper

Cool, no infinity doesn't have cool. It's every extreme. Infinite is the only word for infinity, yeah. That's what I do, I travel through dimensions that are infinite in their infinity. Or more my bike does and I tag along for the ride, though it does seem to always wait for me. So maybe I have more say in it than I realise, though it doesn't seem like it most of the time and space.

 

Name, I need you to know my name. Hi I'm Derundool, I'm a Dimension Hopper, and this is my bike: bike. I'd draw us both, but I can't draw, so I'll just have to describe us. I am a girl, bike has square tires, there: that'll do. I was stuck in one universe like you, reader, were once. My planet was a big sandy one, I forget the name. Take note I did not own the planet, or even have a communal share in it, I was a slave. Not a sex slave mind, just a regular working one, though the non slaves did like to make excuses so that they would have sex with me. I wont name them, they don't deserve names.

 

Writing that last part has made me sad, I'm going to take a break.

 

I'm back now, where am I? Planet, I lived on a big sandy planet as a slave: then one day I found bike while combing the desert for crystals. On first sight, I thought bike was pretty unique in its uselessness, so I decided to pull it from the sand and not ride it. Like I thought, bike did not move, unlike I thought, the world moved around it. Then I was in a scary place full of big mountains spitting out purple gunk, so I rode bike again and again and again, up until it sent me to somewhere nicer. I thought it might have been a time machine, but peddling backwards didn't work. So either it was a broken time machine that didn't go back in time, or a dimension machine with very poor controls. I have come to believe the latter is true.

 

The bad thing about bike is you can't live in him...her....bike...squaretireswhatgenderisthat? So I have to keep resettling in whatever place I'm in if I want to sleep, which I often do. This brings me back to how being a Dimension Hopper is infinite and extreme: you get the best of the good mixed in with the worst of the bad. For a example, five universes ago I got to see a Universal Assembly Breakdown, this is where a cluster of dimensions fall into each other: so you'll have flocks of space ships falling into multicoloured supernovas while void beasts try to gut worlds in order to make their nests. Very amazing, again: I wish I could draw. Other times I'll just get enslaved again, through this I've learnt that there are always mean people. Always everywhere.

 

Sad again, you know the drill.

 

But whatever situation I find myself in, bike will always turn up somewhere so I can ride out of there. It's very convenient. Oh did I talk about my cool treasures that I collect? I have a bag full of them, that's what I use to trade for food and the parts to make bike work when bike is tired, though IT doesn't seem to need much maintenance. I wonder if a new coat of paint helps at all?

 

I do often wonder how bike works. Did it choose me? Did I choose it? Are there other Dimension Hoppers with other poorly designed dimension machines? I don't know. I'd like to think there are others, I do get very lonely sometimes, and where ever I end up, there's usually a big reason for not staying: so I never make any friends that way. That's why I decided to write this note, so whoever finds it will pick it up and they'll know that I exist. It's not a great companionship, but it's a start, and bike certainly isn't any better at talking. It's taken me ages to find a dimension that speaks my language. Unfortunately the people here aren't very friendly, I think it's got something to do with how I look, or move? Not sure.

 

I think it's time to leave again, the people around me are beginning to get angry and are calling me names, so I'll just leave the note here on the table and hope you weren't one of them.