I'm Smoking

I'm Smoking

I have long been highly addicted to fags. In fact, ciggys are only one of my long list of addictions, some of these habits I've managed to give up. But, in this age of fake puritan values, I'd frankly rather get lung cancer than concede one inch to the cigarette police.

I think it's really sickening, especially at Crisis , where I attend my creative writing class, that I'm expected to stand out in the wind, rain and snow, just to inhale a few lungfuls of tobacco smoke. The irony is that Imperial Tobacco's is a sponsor of Crisis and I have met their executives and helped Crisis get continued sponsorship.

I read somewhere about a pensioner who'd been fined for flicking fag ash at the bus stop. I can't understand or accept that people allow this insanity to happen. How the hell can Governments just tell the population what they can and can't do, it's beyond me.

I don't believe for one instant that the powers that be give a flying fig about my health oh no no no ! of course they don't. They just want to poke me with a stick to see how I react and if I take it without too much complaint, they will find a bigger stick and poke me a little harder.

Meanwhile, the public unhappily eat genetically modified crap while being sprayed with chemicals from aeroplanes . Oh yes these bastards really care about health that is why they only send the most healthy young men to die in pointless wars. That's why they develop dangerous vaccines against non-existent pandemics and try to force people into taking them, Oh yeah these bastards really care.!

I often wonder where the planks who become Civil Enforcement Officers come from and think that they must have probably been grown in some genetic lab at Porton Down. Disguised as something between Traffic Wardens and Police, these morons are eager to enforce ever more colourful lists of petty rules and regulations. The really scary thing is the relish with which these fools are prepared to impose the most insane inhuman and ridiculous nonsense imaginable ! High fives all-round lads!

As much as I like Crisis and what it represents I think it should put its mouth where its money is literally. Firstly, introduce a new lesson to curriculum: The Art Of Smoking. This would be a class where students could learn advanced breathing techniques to enable more smoke to be inhaled per drag. Also, advice on the most persuasive ways to get non-smokers started,,would be freely given out.
Lastly I think Crisis should ban smoking outside the building and lobby for smoking to be made an officially recognised Olympic event, that way at least we may just win a medal come 2012 .