Silence

By Danger

Sat, 16 Jan 2010

1545 reads

8 comments

Silence
Silence
Such a beautiful noise
Sitting
There quietly
Waiting
To hear from dad
Time
I stop the babbling
Listen
For that still small voice
Hear
Just how kind he has been
Remember
I could never repay such a debt of love
Amazing
To think my brother thought so much of me
Refreshed
By the living water
Pleased
I have found this oasis in the desert
Secure
In the knowledge I will keep on returning
Silence
In communion with God
Such
A beautiful sound

Certificate U

Poem

Spiritual

Comments

Would love people's thoughts

Permalink Submitted by Danger on Sat, 2010-01-16 21:55

Would love people's thoughts on this. You don't have to be spiritual to comment. All comments, good or bad are very welcome. I would love to improve my writing skills hence my posting on here.

I think its very nice. I

Permalink Submitted by Yazmin on Sun, 2010-01-17 09:34

I think its very nice. I like how you write the emotion, opinion, or verb, and then kind of justify it; Refreshed By the living water Pleased I have found this oasis in the desert Secure In the knowledge I will keep on returning. And how at the end there is kind of a bit of repetition. So yeah, I really like it Yaz x

Yaz

Thanks Yaz I appreciate

Permalink Submitted by Danger on Sun, 2010-01-17 13:59

Thanks Yaz I appreciate that. Never sur whether I'm writing properly.

To be honest I’d be

Permalink Submitted by Mangone on Sun, 2010-01-17 21:07

To be honest I’d be tempted to ‘borrow’ from S & G: Use such a beautiful ‘sound’ rather than ‘noise’ at the top and then use ‘It echoes in my soul’ or some such at the end where you have used - Such a beautiful ‘sound’.

A great first posting, I

Permalink Submitted by kheldar on Sun, 2010-01-31 18:57

A great first posting, I look forward to reading many more :--)

Thanks to all of you have

Permalink Submitted by Danger on Fri, 2010-02-26 23:01

Thanks to all of you have been kind enough to read this first post of mine. The comments have been very encouraging and very educational. Thanks again. (Sorry for the late reply I have had problems with my PC)

Kheldar, you will soon read

Permalink Submitted by Danger on Fri, 2010-02-26 23:02

Kheldar, you will soon read some more. I hope you can control your excitement

new Danger I thoroughly

Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on Thu, 2010-07-15 21:35

new Danger I thoroughly enjoyed this. Who am I to say, but maybe if you wanted could bring more imagination things into it. Just the ripple of the rushing water as the birds hover by so on.I tried one on Silence is golden I think.Don't take any notice of me though please. Look foreward to read more. welcome on AbcTales if first time. So many help and give a kind of adnice. I can't do punctuation.We have trouble PC too. julie