The Break-up

How did it go?

Um...it went okay.

You don't seem convinced.

Well, we're definitely no longer a couple.

That's a relief. You're best off out of that relationship. Did she take it well?

Um...she could have taken it better perhaps.

What did you say?

I told her that I needed to be on my own and that we weren't really suited.

How did she react to that?

Not as brilliantly as I'd hoped. She cut a gaping hole in her gut, yanked out her liver and smeared it all over the wall spelling out my name. Incorrectly as it happens. Poor girl didn't realise how vital that particular organ is.

Shit. Is she alright?

Not really.

Shit.

I know.

Shit.

I know.

Well, at least you know you made the right decision.

That's true. It could have gone better though.

...

Biscuit?

Dark chocolate?

Of course.

Go on then.