The long road home

I set first foot on this road when you left me. At the time I didn’t realise, I was too lost in my grief. But one day I looked around and saw that there were no other travellers on this road; there was only me and behind me there is only darkness and pain, to my left emptiness and sorrow and to my right; despair and regret.
On this journey people have tried to lead me astray; they have barred my path; they have knocked me from my feet and many, many times I have laid where I fell thinking that I could go no further but always I look up and your are there, at the end of the road waiting for me. And so I pick myself up and put one foot before the other and walk this road once more. I don’t know how far there is to travel still or how long this journey will take.
Many times I have listened to the whispered promises; I have looked at the proffered hand and been tempted to turn aside; to go back into their world… But I know the truth of it: there is no place for me there; there never was; only you gave me the illusion that I belonged there but it was never there that I belonged, it was only with you; always to you.
I look at your pictures every day and every day I feel your loss anew but I remember the good times too; they salve the pain; I cling to these memories; the happiness we shared – they are the lantern-light that lights my way, the food that nourishes me; they are the staff that supports me as I walk this road.
And walk it I shall, through torturous eternity, through pain and weariness everlasting if need be; let them bar my path I shall walk around them, let them whisper their empty promises to my deaf ears and when they knock me from my feet I shall pick myself up and put one foot before the other for all roads have an end and I will know I have reached mine when I see you there to meet me; when I feel your touch once more. I will know then I have come home and never shall we be parted again.