applause junkies

sullen trappings that silence the most of us
making one ever more self-aware as each day passes
don’t seem to affect the applause junkie.

the quintessential attention whore---
s/he who makes it a point to gain smiles
no matter what the cost
no matter how little substance exists within them,
tightening the cord round the arm
tapping the vein
they pass these same days by cutting off little pieces of
themselves
to sell at the market
sunup to sundown &
without the supposed affection of all those round them
the withdrawal sets in &
the twitching begins
the vomiting & the sleepless nights
with endless questions knocking relentlessly at the door
inside their minds
(“why don’t they like me?”
“why am i not loved by all?”
“is it that i’m getting older?”
“am i not as beautiful as i once was?”)---
then the screaming begins
with the showing up on doorsteps of people
whom they hardly pretended to associate with
only weeks before,
now on their knees like profusely sweating
end time christians
promising sloppy sexual favors
promising to remember you went they
get to the top
when they achieve whatever level of narcissism it is that
resides within their most lavish
dreams---
perpetually standing on the stage looking down on all of us
begging us all to
care.