on the fucking over of Chelsea Welch

let’s begin with what a waitress does in a day…
a waitress works her ass off,
forced to have the biggest smile in the world
for every miserable fuck, every fat american
family with its screaming & misbehaving
rugrats, who come in to shovel food into their
gullets,
like it was going out of style,
like they had some anonymous tip that
famine was coming.

a waitress makes dick for a wage &
relies on the tips of her customers,
which is why, no matter how bad her own day
has been, before she drags herself into the shift,
she must kiss the ass of these idiots
every night of every week that she toils in the
restaurant---
she gets stress from the bartender who won’t make the
drinks fast enough---
she gets shit from the kitchen staff who fuck up her orders---
she gets crap from the busboys who won’t replenish the
salad bar---
she gets flack from the dishwasher who gives her shit for
how she places down the dishes quick when racing around
the kitchen &
if she’s lucky, she gets hit on by the scumbag male customers
who’ve “had too much to drink” &
even the guys on the staff who just won’t leave her
alone.

now…what does a “pastor” do?
hmmm…a “pastor” reads to a flock of sheep from a work of
fiction, much like a mother might read to a small child from a
storybook &
when the eyes wide with belief begin to tear,
those swimming in idiocy shell out their hard earned cash
to the “pastor” who passes around the plate
in order to get funds for doing
absolutely nothing.

a “pastor” does not work &
they get a tax break for doing so---
a “pastor” walks around with a self-righteous air & is
constantly referred to by idiot believers as
“holy,” as somehow possessing a well of compassion
that others just can’t muster.

a “pastor” has a job for life if they want it---
s/he never has to worry about the restaurant going under,
s/he never has to worry about getting so stressed out one night
and losing it on a customer,
s/he never has to worry about dropping dead while on the clock
from being smothered in stress.

but this one, this special Alois Bell,
who felt the need to make reference to the fact that she pays
“only 10% to god” &
then went on to complain about tipping Chelsea,
via the very receipt in dispute,
she wants to take things further.

she felt to make it known
that because she believes in this fictional character &
has taken up this juicy job to boot,
that she can stick it to those who work for peanuts
& who could give a fuck about
said fictional character---
now in this absurd world we live in,
the waitress who was just doing her job
no longer has one,
because Applebee’s wants to save its ass in the PR
campaign---
because we aren’t allowed to see what these
money grubbing,
vial opportunists,
really are---
we aren’t allowed to see the veil lifted,
until they rape a young boy, etc.