PRIDE VII

PRIDE VII

(The following is a journal entry left by the 4th century monk, Evagrius Ponticus concerning his discovery of “the eight deadly sins”)

Dear Sheep,

Baa Baa Baa! I am writing to you because when you find this I will have finally left this pathetic monastery and moved back to
civilization. My list of things to do the first second that I return to the land of women and material excess is as follows:

1. promiscuous sex with as many women as I can
find
2. binge drinking the best wine I can find
3. all out thievery of as many homes that I
stumble upon unguarded and the happy dance
that will follow
4. one or two muggings before dawn (to let off
some steam)
5. basking in my own glory

Hip hip hooray for me!

Happily Regretting Absolutely Nothing,

Evagrius, AD 375