Infinite

Yesterday I was a goddess.

Persephone or Selene, beautiful or fierce or loyal or kind or whatever plays best to the story you choose. 

And my hair is long, and the world is simple, and there is good and evil.

And I triumph. 

Yesterday I was a goddess and last week I was a voyager. 

My ship crossed oceans or galaxies.

I was brave, I had my hands on my hips and a determined glint in my eye borrowed from Bill himself. 

My crew saw me, they were inspired, or loyal, or brave or stupid or all of the above. They trusted me, they saw me. 

I lead them on grand adventures, to great discoveries, and togetherness is in the air. 

And I am home. 

Last week I was a voyager and next week I’ll be a debutante. 

I’ll cinch my waist in tight and hold my head high. 

I’ll be graceful then, walking will be traded for gliding. 

Words will be my currency and weapons and power. I’ll use the pauses as a whetstone to sharpen my wit. 

He’ll be an abrasive gentleman, or a clergyman, or a colonel, or a heartbroken actor. And he’ll admire me.

And I am enchanting.

Next week I’ll be a debutante and today I am a hero.

I don my mask and find my enemies. 

I do what’s right, and have the last laugh, and reach out to the people. 

And I care for them, and they care for me. 

It won’t ever end. And I know it’s my fault for being there, but it’s too late to stop what has been set in motion so I’ll atone for my existence by doing what’s right. 

And they’ll be grateful anyway

Despite turbulence and pain and destruction. 

And I know peace. 

Today I’m a hero but tomorrow I’d just like to be enough. 

It’s a lot to ask. 

I know that. 

But I’d like to be enough for someone or anyone or even myself. I’d like to be beautiful, or fierce, or loyal, or kind. 

I’d like to be brave or stupid or determined.

Graceful or witty.

Caring or cared for. 

And they say you can’t expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself but I can’t wait that long and it can be lonely in this room with only my stories to make sense of it. 

If I could be enough then I would triumph, I could find home, I could be enchanting, I could know peace. 

But I won’t be enough tomorrow. 

Today I am realistic, and tomorrow I’ll be lonely and last week I was broken and next week I’ll be the same and when all of that is through I’ll be an alien or a time traveler or a ghost or a mermaid.

Or whatever plays best to the story you choose.