Behind closed doors ..

Av got a cough that's sore n dry,
when a lie oan ma back, it's worse.
A shooda took heed o' the folk that said,
'Dinny smoke. Leave yer money in yer purse'.

Do you like white, or is the red best.
But when av sunk a few, it aw dribbles doon ma vest ..

(Who'z that guffy gawpin' at ..)

Look at the flippin' staight o' him.
Chest hair exposed, greasy spots upon his chin.
He should be in the hoose lookin' after the dug,
but any excuse ti go boozin' doon the pub.

How to explain that bloody, sore face.
She's covered in bruises, said she tripped on the staircase.
Best get the tea oan, never make a fuss.
Why does he call you?!
'Like the back end o' a bus'.
Mibbe one day, you'll plunge in a knife
Tell the polis, say 'he fell oan it'
oh, wouldn't THAT be nice ..