grass/july

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Di_Hard

Sun, 28 Jul 2019
  • 4809 reads
19 comments
 

Afternoon sun slants

ghosts of gold bars through

long shadow fingers.

Green lush labyrinth

layer on layer

reaches, welcomes light.

Stream's dark tongue slow seeks

down, seeps low, cleaving,

licks silt lips' stillness.

Rush spike minarets

peak airy cities;

grass seeds scintillate;

fountain plumes of grain

flock-soft on sweet stems

catch wind messages.

Two huge black beatles -

Life's convertibles -

armoured, airborne, tryst

wingbeats thrum silence,

speed hours into years.

 

Here Earth works, all things

strive, thrive together

with what's given free

while we think progress

is to take away -

all jobs soon no more

than grass stalks gathered

in a hand, with ease

let fall, loss unfelt.

A fly's gentle touch

values man as beast

for all  blood is food

 

 

 

 

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Beautiful. This one would work particularly well spoken aloud too

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much for the cherries Insert, and your kind comment! Sorry to keep editing after you have read it

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I imagined you lying looking in drowsy sunshine down through the grasses and leaves to the trickling stream in the first verse. And the contrast of the black beetles gave a good reading effect!

I suppose afterwards you are comparing the struggle-works of all in nature with humankind endeavouring to take the labour out of work but ending up with organised occupation for few, and many lacking the satisfaction of straightforward daily work?? Rhiannon

(by the way, re editing, I don't know if it's something you've thought about or not, but I generally save a piece as 'unpublished' first to have another look at it, and when [hopefully] satisfied, save it 'published'. It goes on the page for viewing at the time you first saved it, though unseen until you've 'published' it. I also still may have to further edit also!)

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou for your wonderful detailed response Rhiannon :0) It was walking, but very slowly! I still find the streams here a mysterious presence as where I grew up was sandy so  water didn't hang around long.

The unpublished thing sounds perfect. I am not sure why I've not seen it. Maybe I have and  tried to use it and did something wrong, like the last thing I posted which I thought was unpublished but wasn't. I panic I'll delete stuff by mistake, too. But will have another look, thankyou for recomending  it ?

 

Submitted by onemorething on

So lovely. Some very beautiful lines. 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou very much for your kind comment Onemorething

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hello Di,

I agree with insert, I could imagine you reading this poem to an audience, it has some great metaphors too, like:-

Stream's dark tongue slow seeks

down, seep low, cleaving,

licks silt lips' stillness.

 

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Jenny :0) It's so kind of you to say that! I entered a local schools competition and hyperventillated, very embarrassing, and in a school play when supposed to read started coughing so much that the person sitting next to me had to do it. That must be 40 years ago, thought of reading aloud is  still terrifying!!!

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

How about trying to do it on Soundcloud and then put a link above the poem on here Di? Ewan and hudsonmoon both do this and it works out really well. You could have a whole load of tries wirhout anyone else around, so it might be easier? I could ask Ewan if you like, to write a short 'how to' - it might come in useful for lots of other people

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I have seen Ewan reading on YouTube, he is really good! I love hearing people reading their own work. Well-Wisher is on Youtube too, he had a beautiful voice. And Rich singing :0) It would be brilliant if people could give advice on how they do it so well, let alone the technical stuff. My voice is really squeeky, though so not me :0)

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I'll ask him smiley

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Please share/retweet if you enjoyed it as much as I did

Picture Credit:https://tinyurl.com/y23lj3ub

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much! You have made my day. Strengthened my spirit to defrost the fridge :0)

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Great stuff, this, Di. Very spare and sensory, then a tweak of the emotions at the end. Just how it ought to be. Yes. All blood is food. Bang on. Top of the food chain? I don't think so.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much :0) You are a wonderful encourager!

The fly bit was inspired by your brilliant  : https://www.abctales.com/story/parson-thru/arbitrariness-life

which has stayed in my mind, so I am very glad you liked it!

Hope you are feeling much better?

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This is our thought-provoking poem of the week, well done!

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou so much, that has cheered me right up!

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

I enjoyed the way the grass stalks run like threads through this poem and the way it highlights the complexities in nature which we take for granted every moment. Those black beetles appear this time of year don't they, incongruously huge and scrambling about, part of some multi-chaptered life cycle. I have been working in a garden centre and I must say the humidity this summer has been trying. I must get back into writing and reading....otherwise I will miss gems ike this.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankou for your kind comment :0) I have been wondering how you are! I'm glad you are working with plants. My first job was in a garden centre, but  was just for the summer so only bedding and houseplants. Are you doing the fun stuff like shrubs and roses? We used to just spray each other with the hose to keep cool :0) I hope you do start writing again, you are brilliant writer, your work always shakes  me up, makes me think.