Q - BLOSSOM BABYSTABBER

Blossom Babystabber cut a frightening figure on her golden palomino warhorse as she picked her way through the rubble and detritus strewn street of the town.

Talking time was done and now it was time for action. Her last visit to this conurbation, on the southeast side of town, had been less than successful. Heinous crimes continued to be committed here and either the local people did not care, were too scared or lacked the will to change but Blossom cared and had decided that today would be their wake up call.

Crowds parted as her steed, Fluffy, came towards them. Some folk smiled, albeit nervously, and Blossom returned their effort with a beaming grin of her own. Other folk stared in fear and disbelief, however, none spoke. She chuckled silently. Yes. She thought. I guess the twin swords are an indication that I’ve not come shopping. Normally, when Blossom came to town she was quite shy and retiring but today she was dressed like Zena, Warrior Princess, and feeling as mean as a shopper on the first day of Harrods sale.

Arriving at her destination, she halted Fluffy and dismounted. Straightening her pale blue, suede riding skirt she adjusted the thigh length split to allow optimal access to the throwing knives strapped to her side. Then, checking her hair in a small mirror, she always carried in her medicine bag and finding it to be acceptable, she strode forward to the ill-lit, unkempt dwelling and knocked loudly on the door.

A crowd had now begun to gather and they watched in silence as the door was opened by a short, dark, wiry woman of indeterminate age.

‘What do you want?’ Stammered the woman, noting the swords and throwing knives.

‘Too late.’ Replied Blossom. ‘We tried discussion, remember? Now we play to my rules, do you understand?’

Blossom shouldered the door open, sending the woman sprawling.

‘But there are rules!’ Hissed the woman, cowering in the corner.

‘Done rules’, replied Blossom, kicking over a low table. ‘Where are the children?’

‘They’re, they’re playing.’ Replied the hag.

‘Are they clean and are they well?’

‘Yes, yes of course they are’.

‘Well you won’t mind me seeing them, will you, Haarizon?’ Asked Blossom emphatically, as she withdrew a throwing knife from her hip holster.

‘They, they’re asleep. Yes, they’re asleep. You wouldn’t want to wake them up now would you?’

‘Which is it? Sleeping or playing? Don’t waste my time, it’s not infinite and neither is my patience.’

‘Sleeping, yes sleeping. Can’t just wake them up. That’s right.’ Haarizon’s glance flicked toward a door at the back of the hovel.

Blossom caught the glance and strode toward the door. Haarizon showed tremendous speed for someone of her stature and somehow arrived at the door as Blossom was about to turn the handle.

‘Can’t wake them up now, no, can’t do that.’ Pleaded Haarizon. ‘There are rules, yes, there are rules.’

‘Out of my way’, Hissed Blossom and Haarizon moved aside as if struck by lightning.

Blossom opened the door and recognised the shapes of three dirty, bedraggled children huddling together for warmth or out of fear. She turned toward Haarizon who was by now edging toward the exit. Blossom’s knife bit into the wall inches from woman’s face.

‘Don’t leave’. Insisted Blossom closing the cellar door. ‘We’re not finished yet’.

Haarizon ran for the door but was stopped short by Blossoms second knife which caught her in the right thigh.

‘There are rules, there are rules I tell you. You can’t do this.’ She croaked, her eyes filling with tears. ‘There are rules.’

‘Rules have changed.’ Replied Blossom. ‘You no longer get to terrorise people, to play the system; you no longer get to win!’ This last word was punctuated by the drawing of the twin swords. Working swiftly, she decapitated Haarizon with a backhand blow from the right sword and, just for good measure split the carcass from throat to abdomen with the left. Haarizon was dead before she hit the ground.

Look at all this mess, thought Blossom. Needed doing though. She cleaned her swords on the dead woman’s dress and retrieved her throwing knives. Re-sheathing her weapons, she opened her medicine satchel and started to brew a potion. When all the herbs had been blended to her satisfaction she added the magic chocolate to the concoction and went in to see the children. They were still cowering in the corner just as she had left them. Slowly she coaxed them out and administered the healing brew. It was a special brew used by all the Babystabber clan; it brought healing, sleep, calm and forgetfulness.

When all the children where fast asleep, Blossom left the cellar to talk to the villagers who were still congregated at the front door; unspeaking. She asked if any of them would take in and care for the children and, after discussion, a kindly couple agreed to help.

The three then transported the sleeping children to their new home. Once she was sure that the children would be safe, Blossom bade farewell to the family and said that she would keep in touch. She then collected and mounted Fluffy and started the long ride back home. She surveyed the array of blood and bone fragments on her new riding outfit and boots and thought it a fair trade. ‘One less hag, three happy children and a new, safe family unit.’

As Fluffy cleared the outskirts of the conurbation he seemed to stagger and Blossom felt herself being shaken like a straw in the wind. As her head snapped back she turned and heard a voice call, ‘Wake up, you’re on now’. Turning back, she found that the lane had vanished and Fluffy had gone. Quickly she tried to compose herself. Looking ahead she found she was sitting on a stage at a long table with a large audience of gleaming, expectant faces in front of her. A voice droned, ’We would now like to welcome a member of the Children’s Community Nursing Team whose subject will be “Conflict Resolution: Working with Difficult Parents”’.

Blossom shuffled her speech notes, stood up and walked to the rostrum.