L Chapter 12 Mini People

Chapter 12

Pete and Sean were in a corridor on the thirteen floor of the
Dial-A-Spud offices. Sean, who was two inches high, was standing on
Pete's palm. They were deciding what to do next in their continuing
quest to track down Godzilla and Godzooki the kidnappers of Sean's mini
people friends. At some point they had accepted they were going to have
to save the world.

"I say we should keep a low profile," said Sean. "We don't want to
push our luck. What we need is somewhere safe to hide until the
building shuts down."

"Good idea," said Pete. He looked around. "Where do you recommend?
It's easy for you to hide. You're two inches high."

"There must be a janitor's room around here somewhere. We could hide
in there."

"Good idea," said Pete. "Very Hong Kong Phooey."

"What?"

"He was a cartoon dog," said Pete. "Knew kung fu. Worked as a janitor
by day, superhero by night." Pete started to sing. "Hong Kong Phooey
never was such a super guy. Hong Kong Phooey had a friend who was only
two inches high."

"You're making that up."

"I'm not," said Pete. "I used to have Hong Kong Phooey pyjamas. They
were one of the last things my father bought me before he went
away."

"Very touching," said Sean.

"It was," said Pete. "He dreamt of being an astronaut. He went to be
one. Ended up selling hotdogs from a stand in Minnesota. Moondogs he
called them."

"About the touching bit," said Sean, "I was lying. Now can we get a
move on. Now."

Pete put Sean back in the top pocket of his jacket and set off. He had
thought Sean was starting to be less uppity but he was wrong. In the
grand scale of his life he had been wrong about a lot of things. He was
probably going the wrong way now. He turned left three times. Went down
corridors that seemed to be same and eventually found himself back at a
place that looked the one he had started from.

"Do you know where you're going?" said Sean. "We're not doing a
sponsored walk."

"Hong Kong Phooey," mumbled Pete under his breath, "never was such a
super guy. Hong Kong Phooey?"

And then he stopped. At the end of the corridor he spied a man. The
man was wearing a beige knee length jacket and was holding a mop and
bucket.

"By jingo," he said.

"Follow that janitor," said Pete.

He didn't need telling twice. He set off, one foot in front of the
other.

Some janitors are easier to follow than others. Luckily this was an
easy one. He was slow and walked with a stoop. In the annual janitor
speed trials he would probably come near the end.

At the forth potted plant on the right Pete stopped as the janitor
stopped. From behind a frond Pete watched him enter a room. He waited.
He watched the janitor come back out.

The janitor was transformed. He didn't have his knee length coat. He
didn't have his mop and bucket. It didn't take a genius to guess what
had happened. Pete and Sean had discovered their janitor's closet. They
were in it like a flash.

****

A mountain of toilet-rolls hid one wall, a stack of detergent boxes
another. Sometime someone had decided that this was the place to leave
Christmas decorations. There was yards of tinsel.

Pete was sitting on a chair. Sean was on his knee.

"You know what this reminds me of?" said Pete.

"Woody Allen appearing at the Toilet City Music Hall?" said Sean. For
a while he had been pacing Pete's leg but now he stopped.

"No," said Pete. "One of my favourite Hong Kong Phooey episodes. The
Christmas special, 1985. Hong Kong Phooey sister's Ping Pong Phooey has
been kidnapped by an evil railway tycoon in a plot to drum up
passengers for his trains. Hong Kong Phooey has tracked the tycoon down
to his palatial offices and he has disguised himself as a janitor in
order to gain access to the building."

"Hang on," said Sean, "I thought Hong Kong Phooey was a
janitor."

"He was," said Pete. "That's the beauty of his plan."

"Just tell me how it ends," said Sean. "I don't care about the bits in
between."

"I'm the opposite," said Pete. "The bits in between are always the
best. You know how it ends, everything ends the same."

"Spare me the philosophy and cut to the come shot."

Pete shrugged and then he scratched his arse. It was a while since he
had done that. "Hong Kong Phooey rescues his sister. It has a happy
ending. He's Hong Kong Phooey, what can I say?"

"Sounds rubbish," said Sean.

"Look," said Pete, "why are we doing this?" He spread his arms taking
in the toilet rolls and the detergent and Christmas decorations. They
weren't what he meant but Sean knew what he meant.

"We're going to rescue my mini friends. We're going to put the world
back to how it was."

"I've been thinking about that," said Pete. "Jo seemed happy. With his
new heads and fast food. Who am I to take that away?"

"So you think what happened to Jo is good?"

"I don't know. He was nicer but it did kind of freak me out. I liked
his rough edges. They were good to hold on to at night. They were what
made him him."

"Exactly," said Sean and then he held up a hand. "What's that? Listen.
I hear someone coming."

****

Godzilla stepped into the room and then Godzooki.

"Are you sure they're in here, Clive?" said Godzilla.

"Yeah sure, Simon." said Godzooki.

In the box of tinsel Pete froze. He thought his goose was stuffed. He
wanted to scratch his arse but he didn't dare.

"How many do you want?" said Godzooki.

"What do you think I'm doing, stocking up the whole place? I want one,
just one. And quick, I'm desperate."

Godzooki walked over to the moutain of toilet rolls and then he
stopped.

"Hey Simon do you smell something?"

"Of coure I smell something, I've got the nose of a freakin'
lizard."

"No, I mean, something untoward."

"I don't smell nothing, now get me that toilet roll. I'm busting a gut
here."

"Ok, ok, but after you're done I want to check on the mini people. I
don't know what but I sense something."

"You're a freakin' old woman Clive, that's what you are."

"You can't be too careful Simon. You can't be too careful."

Godzooki took a toilet roll and then they left the room.

****

"That was close," said Pete.

"At least we learnt one thing," said Sean.

"Yeah, their real names are Clive and Simon. Who'd have guessed
it?"

"Not that you idiot. They mentioned the mini people. The mini people
are in the building and they're off to see them. I say we follow
them."

"Good idea, but they've seen me before. If they see me in here then
I'm dead meat."

"Then we need a disguise."

"Good idea, but where are we going to find a disguise.

It was at that point that Sean noticed three things. (1) Pete had a
strand of tinsel in his hair. (2) A janitor's jacket was hanging on the
back of the door. (3) The mop and bucket were in one corner.

"I have a plan," said Sean. "Quick, before they get away."