Poisoned Love - Betrayal can impose a death sentence on love

“Love does not last forever, then?"
"He asked me the same thing this morning," she said. "No, it does not - not love that has been betrayed. One realizes that one has loved a mirage, someone who never really existed. Not that love dies immediately or soon, even then. But it does die and cannot be revived.”
― Mary Balogh, Simply Perfect

I am surprised at myself. Being a spiritually enlightened man, well acquainted with my own faults, and well exercised at forgiving a mountain of offenses against me, have found myself at an insurmountable barrier. I have bitterness at a betrayal, no not just one, but many betrayals, of my lover against me. I mouth the words like I know I should, “I forgive you”, I pray the prayers, “Lord help her”, but yet, I find a seething bleeding wound festering beneath my loving mask. Why is it that this has a root in me? Worse, why is it that I cannot, under any amount of coercion, cleanse myself of this horrid stew I have brewed? I have not yet tasted the foulness of it, but I can smell it, tainting the air of conversation and poisoning the purity of the love I felt. I am sure it will kill all of my affection, but, I must make sure I don't let it destroy my compassion for others, or morph into its evil sibling, revenge. God help me, I am just like the one I despise! Now I am left with this battle, and how to win it, I have no sure plan. I need an intervention of grace, power to do what I could never do.

“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Invincible

First written in Opinionsofeye.com (http://www.opinionsofeye.com/2011/11/poisoned-love.html)

Published in: Lifeasahuman.com (http://lifeasahuman.com/2011/relationships/love/poisoned-love/)

Published in: Broowaha (http://www.broowaha.com/articles/11861/poisoned-love)