An Agnostic's Prayer

If I knew better,
would I live a life of misery
or take the easy way out?
Would it be better to accept
Death’s release
and go to whatever reward was waiting?

It could be Nirvana or Shangri-La,
or another turn at the karmic wheel;
I might have to atone at the Pearly Gates
or burn under the curse of Satan;
I might dwell in the great oblivion
or find my heart being weighed
and judged for entry into Osiris;
or perhaps I’ll find
liberation with Moksha.

So, weighing these
and so many more ‘just’ rewards,
wouldn’t it be better,
if I were really living in misery,
to take the life I’ve been given,
end it and move on?

Or is this all there is?

And indeed, if this is all there is,
am only wasting my time
needlessly searching for answers
that don’t exist?

Could I be making the lives
of those who truly live in misery better?
Could I be making a different to those
who live in squalor and disease,
who live without fresh water,
who live without sewerage,
who live without hospitals,
schools, universities,
air-conditioned shopping malls,
gourmet pizza, modern art galleries,
internet cafes, second hand stores,
local libraries, patrolled beaches,
event cinemas, harbour-side bars,
trendy bookstores, local restaurants,
mobile networks, i-pads and smart phones
and that great hamburger place near work?

And if there is nothing waiting after
and all I have are my good intentions,
naïve as these might be,
would I really mind if there was no such thing
in any concept,
as heaven?