...

I think I had this specific perception of myself. I let the movies, the love songs, my own hopeless writing get the better of me when it came to painting the picture of love, but I'm a writer, were all hopeless romantics. I let it cloud my vision and I presented a distorted version of myself to you. It's a state of mind I don't think I can escape though, I feel so deeply so I can write so raw, is that bad? I was a little girl when I started watching the portrayal of love. It came in the form of flowers, kisses, hand holding, "I love you's", alone time, dates, "you look beautiful(s), and so much more. But it didn't show me the magnifier. The times where you'd sit looking at him, absorbing him, but he's flicking through his phone filled with pretty girls. The moments you dress up beautifully to not be told a word of beauty. The times where you'd lay in bed longing for even a cuddle, but they'd rather talk to somebody else. It didn't show me what I wanted to see, because although I was in love, I didn't feel loved. And I soon realised the portrayal of love, is nothing but a distorted representation of a fantasy.