Charlie Snape

By Esther

Fri, 24 Aug 2012
  • 1108 reads
4 comments
 

It seemed to nice to be in bed so she wasn't. Wi fit done and dusted she was off on her travels or rather her walk with their newly acquired re-homed dog Henry. Sometimes it was difficult to say who was walking who as they walked along the cycle track whilst the morning A6 traffic sped by.
Oh how delightlul to be retired; as she now was.

Sybil would never really accept she was 61...not unless it suited her to do so. She couldn't see the tiny crinkles beneath her eyes; unless she put on her glasses which never appealed to her so early in the mornings. Anway why bother putting on make-up in the morning when only snails and slugs splurged her path as they now did.

She speeded up remembering what she had recently read about over-weight elderly people with biggish waists running more of a risk of developing dementia. Such a awful cruel disease that robs people of not only their minds but their identities whilst all those that love them can do is to look on and try to understand and not correct the fact they have just heard the same words only seconds before.

Why was it, she wondered, as her crinkly eyes looked across to the left to a glorious patchwork of undulating fields and irregular hedges and a gate with only one hinge, that humanity expected perfection or nothing at all.

Her mind rolled back to the programme she had seen on t.v last night about the rise in hate crime and abuse of the disabled. It had made her want to vomit seeing vile adults tormenting people with learning disabilities/robbing them and in one case murdering a trusting girl who just wanted love.

Sybil arrived home and headed for the kettle....then she would be ready for the road...rather the gym for her aqua zumba class followed by Pilates and a healthy fat cream cake...if only!

Certificate U
Story
Memories are made of this
Rant

Comments

Submitted by Yume1254 on
Sounds like a nice way to pass the time no matter what age. I enjoyed reading this little slice of life, Esther - looking forward to more. Y.

 

Submitted by Esther on
Thank you Y

Submitted by TVR on
A lovely sensitive piece from you, Esther. I really identified with this woman reflecting on the apparent ‘unfairness’ of life, why it favours some, and not others. Really nicely written. I will catch up with more of your writing very soon, much enjoyed. Just a couple of things that might help – you can ignore my advice if you want, it’s only my opinion. In your third paragraph, I think you could lose this bit (para below} without losing any of the intensity of the narrator’s feelings, and without compromising your story as a whole: Such an awful cruel disease that robs people of not only their minds but their identities whilst all those that love them can do is to look on and try to understand and not correct the fact they have just heard the same words only seconds before. It’s heartfelt and well written, but not necessary. Most people these days understand the implications of dimentia and in this context you’ve no need to enlighten them, it kind of slows up the narrative. And your first sentence… It seemed to nice to be in bed so she wasn't. …doesn’t make sense, unless you mean ‘too’ instead of ‘to’ which I guess is the case. Even then, the sentence is somewhat clumsy as a narrative (fine as speech). It would be better to say something like: It was far too nice outside to waste the day lying in. And that was exactly the reason she was up and about early. But I dealy loved this line: She couldn't see the tiny crinkles beneath her eyes; unless she put on her glasses. …Such a lovely observation that it sums up almost everone’s senior moments. Much enjoyed. Trev

TVR

Submitted by Esther on
Thank you for your comments; will slow myself down a bit and think more.