Here she was on another train

Here she was on another train; this time to London to meet her other Aunt who worked as a Casting Director on The Bill. It was a odd thought that for years she had watched this brilliant programme and not realised that her aunt had been part of the casting process.

As she was the one searching she couldn't know how it felt to have someone bump into your life and say'hello'
Why were families so important? That was big stuff. She couldn't comprehend never mind touch these emotions.
How would it feel to be a son or a daughter standing at a doorstep and when the door is opened saying......? What would they say and how might they say it.

Expectant,exited,sad folk alighted at Luton station. Some trundled matching cases and bags.Some were holding infants tightly whilst over near the flower-bed a toddler was thrashing about on the floor. A stroppy teenager hunched over some technie thing with hood up; furious at being forced to be with their mum or dad who always shows them up with something they had said or done or just because they are there at all.

At this moment Sybil recalled forcing her fifteen year old son to take his recently purchased tee shirt back to a shop in Kettering. She could have choked on her porridge when he appeared in her kitchen wearing a black tee shirt with white lettering saying "Fuck Off" The words were offensive. She didn't like writing the words down never mind saying them and there was her son. As bold as brass modelling these words for her village to read and to comment on. He wasn't an extension of her at all;although she thought so at the time.

She still hated the F word although it was everywhere now and used as frequently as and,but etc. Maybe she hated the word as that was what her step-father said. He was long since dead but still he lived in her head...but there was a reason for that again.

It had been a tight world then of condemnation and destruction and as a child it seemed and felt like it would never end. They all pretended everything was well whilst the benefit system paid for her stepfathers beer,whisky and fags. No-one questioned that this was wrong. Why didn't someone somewhere have the guts to sort the system out.