Everybody's Fool: Chapter 1

You can't lie to yourself. I know that now. If only I'd known it then, I might be having an ordinary life as Laura McCord. But if I had known, I'd never have met Harry.

However much you lie to others, there's always a voice inside your head telling you not to let go. To hold on to who you are. I hated that voice. But that voice was the one thing that helped me up. The voice that stopped me drowning in a sea of lies. Because everyone has to hold onto themselves.

Let me explain. I hate myself. As simple as that. So the day before I started high school, I had the bright idea to dye my chestnut hair (which had been the curse of my life up until then) platinum blonde, along with a complete wardrobe change, lifestyle change, and personality change. Out went the shy, bookish, retiring girl I was. In came the bubbly, gushing, blonde cheerleader I had become. That's when I started hearing the voices.

"This isn't you, Laura. It isn't you. You hate this lie, don't you? I know you do, because I am you." it whispered, day in, day out, a ceaseless chorus.

"You aren't me! I am this now!" I would scream silently back. "You don't know me anymore!" But it would never listen.

Anger, fear, despair... These emotions gnawed at my insides, spiralling me into depression. Not that I let it show. At school I was cheerful and friendly as ever, gossiping away, and simpering at all the football team. I slowly built up barriers against the voice,

One day, it all changed. The voice redoubled its efforts, destroying the barriers, screeching in my ears, until I felt like clamping my hands over my head and screaming to block it out.

I stormed home, grabbed a yoghurt from the fridge, and flopped onto my bed. I'd convinced everyone else. Now there was only one person who didn't believe it. Me.