13 Don't You Step on my BluTacked Screws...

I got some BluTack out of my bag, tore off several pieces and laid them on the sort-of desk.

After getting the casing off, I took a photograph of what I could see, as I knew I'd have to put the machine back together, sooner or later. I took out the battery first. Then the hard drive. I removed the CMOS battery, God knew why, as I didn't actually know what it did and there wasn't room for a communion wafer under it. I disconnected the CD/DVD drive and undid the two tiny screws, before lifting and pushing to peek under it. I put the screws into the pieces of BluTack depending on where they'd come from. I stared at the autopsied laptop for a while. There was nothing, no sneaky transmitter hidden under anything. Not even a scribbled message 'BOO!' taped inside. Besides, he'd been booked for a 10 a.m. check in. I was on a replacement bus travelling south then.
I didn't know how to feel about that.

I made some coffee: carefully, as I didn't want to spill boiling water on the digital guts lying all over the surface. I took the mug over to the bed and sat with my back up against the headboard.

And fell asleep.

I woke up about midnight and switched the television on. There was no local news available at that time of night. So it was GB news or the radio. There was nothing local on the digital channel list. I looked for some jazz. Jazz FM had disappeared from Sky and Virgin so I had to settle for Virgin Chill. It was dire. So I switched to BBC One TV and watched Trump's latest escapades, sandwiched between stories about floods and fires on the other side of the world.

After giving up on going back to sleep, I got up and reassembled my laptop. I was delayed a little by standing on a BluTack-ed screw I'd knocked off the desk. I put my shoes on, before turning the computer on. Deciding not to waste any more time on Vint just then, I typed Captain Yossarian into GoGoGadget. After getting about 50,000 hits I excluded 'Catch 22' and 'Joseph Heller' from the search. At the top of the page "Your search for Captain Yossarian' showed no results. Showing results for Lt Col (Ret'd) Yosserian instead".
There were just a half-dozen hits, this time.  Only one mentioned the Yosserian with an 'e'. Two were for a Lt. Col. Tosser. I had thought that would have brought up a few screens-ful of mentions, but no.
I clicked on the Yosserian link. It led to a Facebook page for The Chichester Argus, dated June 2022.
"A reunion was held at the Masonic Hall, Chichester, Friday 13th last, for those former serving officers of The Queens Regiment & The Royal Hampshires to celebrate their amalgamation into the Princess of Wales's Royal Regiment in 1992. The event was black tie and the presiding officer was Lt. Col. Yosserian, DSO, OBE (Ret'd)." There was a video link that failed, when I clicked on it. I clicked on another article about the audience booing a production of Hamlet, by the National Mime Company, at the Festival Theatre. The video played OK. The booing was loud, by the way. An X, Facebook, Bluesky and Mastodon search just proved that the Colonel didn't care much for social media. It was 04.00 hrs. I crashed out on the bed, I didn't switch anything off, not even the tele.