21. Maid in Heaven

Rings in my pocket, I headed over to Fort McNair. At the very end of the harbour was a bait and tackle shop with restrooms for customers. It was no-one's favourite hellavator stop, but I figured the stink of shellfish was a small price to pay for a quick ascent to Heaven. I needed my wings out, I wanted to walk among angels and the saved. I needed to get away from temptation.

On the way over to my office I saw Nelson, the boss of Blazing Apostles, leaving his building on South Revelation Row. Maybe someone had given them a call. He waved. I waved back. Then he beckoned. I thought about giving him the finger, but walked over to see what he wanted instead.

'Gabe, what's up?'

'Y'know, usual stuff.'

Nelson looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

'Yeah, the usual, Hermesiel.'

His lips twisted at his given name. He'd stopped going by it when the heavenly choir he'd been leading was disbanded. That's when he'd founded Blazing Apostles. He'd given Thomas a job, but the rest of the twelve were busy doing other things, so I figured the name was just plucked from the ether. He didn't look the kind of guy who would know the song.

'What about Adam's woman?'

'What do you know about that?'

'Same as everybody. You're going to bring her back.'

'Most folks know more than I do then.'

And to tell the truth, I still hadn't decided what I was going to do. Satan was telling me I should kidnap the wife of the President of the United States; I believed the head of the Celestial Bureau of Investigation was telling me to do the same. At least I thought so, it was hard to tell what he had wanted from our one-way interview.

Nelson laughed, 'You're not the only one with a job, you know.'

'Who's employing you idiots, then?'

'A very important person, s'mattera fact.'

I yawned in his face and he shook his head hard.

'Well it is. She's looking for him again.'

'She? Not The Vir... Oh man, you are a doozy, Nelson. He hasn't been seen for two earthbound millennia. Hasn't even been to see Dad never mind Mom.'

'I gotta lead.'

'Ya don't say. What is it this time? The Baha'is again? Josef Schmidt's gang? The Ahmadiyya. '

'You know as well as I do that it's just about the only thing they've imagined down there that hasn't come true.'

He had a point, but I didn't tell him that.

'Well, anyway. I've got a lead.'

He looked away into the distance at the Hellavator's Central Station. I couldn't say whoever had dreamt it up took drugs, but it sure was imaginative to have so many cupolas and domes balanced on a funnel shaped structure that led to the Hellavator's shaft.

He spoke again, 'I'd like some help, Gabriel, if you gotta coupla days?'

I covered my amazement by asking what the daily rate would be.

'All the earthbound dollars you can spend.'

So I said yes.