The Appliance of Science

Ms. Baumgartner sure was upset today. The new smart board worked fine. I don’t know why Ms. Baumgartner was worried. It was as easy to use as my Blackberry. Jimmy Gomerill put gum on her chair but I know it weren’t that. He does it most every day. She was ok all through the morning. The boys in back of the classroom got the evil eye while we sang the Star-Spangled Banner and so they used the right words. Home E was just fine too. The janitor came in to clean up the eggs from the floor. Our teacher didn’t come out for recess, but she don’t as a rule. Jimmy Gomerill says she goes for a smoke in back of the Janitor’s office out by the trash.

After recess we had Religious Education. Ms. Baumgartner don’t teach this class. She prob’ly does something in the staff room, like mark a science test or read a magazine. Religion class ain’t so hot to tell the truth. Doctor Baramin speaks with a loud voice and he uses the smart board and plays music and all kindsa things, but some teachers are just nat’ral bores, it’s a fact. Tell the truth and shame the Devil, we was all pretty glad when Ms. Baumgartner came back to do citizenship. Only bad thing was she started off again about ‘Freedomaspeech’. I don’t mind so much, but there’s always a smartass at the back who shouts out somethin’ dumb. ‘Course when Ms. Baumgartner mentions how she won’t stand for shouting out and they better put their hand up if they wanna speak, well you can guess what those trailer park boys say.

Lunchtime the entire William Jennings Bryan Elementary School eats in the big hall. I can never remember the big word Ms. Baumgartner uses but it’s refec-somethin’. Anyways I always sit next to Jimmy Gomerill, cause he makes me laugh and their ain’t many boys in 6^th grade who can make me do that. I had hamburger, Jimmy had grits just so he could do gross things while he was eatin’ ‘em.

First after lunch was Science. When the fight had stopped at the back, Ms Baumgartner pressed the clicker. It was neat how the Smartboard put up the date and the EXACT time the class started. It took a coupla presses on the button to bring up the title of the class on the board. Maybe Ms. Baumgartner had a bit of high pressure like my Grandma gets. Makes her hand shake too.

I looked at Jimmy. He smiled, we both love Dinosaurs. They’re so like neat-o.

Anyhow, Ms Baumgartner put up the first slide for ‘Genesis and the Dinosaurs’ and she just sat down on the floor and started to cry. Principal Butler and Mrs. Baker Eddy took her out and we heard the Ambulance arrive later. Doctor Baramin gave the rest of the science class. That man can even make dinosaurs into a visit to Snoozeville. I sure hope Ms. Baumgartner comes back.