Fred

‘Mostly, I like it here. We came for the sun. Edie is a healthy brown --- ‘though she’s carrying more weight than when we ran the care home. She looks ok on it. I like to think I look better, the brown skin looks good under the white hair. I’ve still got most of it. My weight’s what it was 40 years ago. Edie wanted to come more than me; she saw one of those programmes on the telly. I don’t bother with much foreign stuff, in fact we have a roast every Sunday. The locals are really ignorant; it gets my goat, the way they drive. Cut you up, lean on their horn, waving their arms at you through the windscreen; they don’t even understand roundabouts. We don’t need to speak the lingo. We bootleg Sky with a dodgy UK address supplied by Frank who goes in the Venta. There’s line-dancing on Wednesdays; Edie doesn’t do that. She goes to the dominoes on Friday and that suits me.

I see Maria Inmaculada on Fridays. I got her number from the ‘Sur In English.’ I had to read a lot of small ads. Some of them I didn’t understand. She says she likes me and she makes me feel comfortable on Fridays. She’s not bothered about my age, or that I’m a bit awkward. I’m not bothered about the 200 Euros. That’s cheap though, really. 10 Flamenco lessons, it’s a good deal.’