'Only God When he's Drunk'

Really, Tom should know better:
and I suspect he does, gentlemen.
Welcome to my humble club,
leave your excuses
with the hat-Czech girl.

Indeed? I thought you all knew,
and so, perhaps, you should, beloved.
Master of Ceremonies,
I list your foibles
that bring you safe here.

Surely you saw the address
on the matchbook: Heartattack and
Vine? "Lucifers" : the name for
old fashioned matches,
don't you just love that?

Really! I know it's stuffy,
and yes, maybe a little hotter
around the fireplaces,
but keep your clothes on,
you're no innocents.

Truly, it's an injustice -
for I never touch the demon drink;
nor does the Almighty
who keeps his belief,
though yours is long gone.

Rally now, at the final
and disjointed trumpet call!
Downtown, with margaritas,
you can watch Judgement
Day: I'll keep the score.