The Wall

Brick , by loving brick
I have built my all-sacrificing wall
Blood , sweat and tears
expended through the years
to piece together a life.

Patiently
I have toiled;
Silently , diligently,
I have gone about my work;
Memory upon lasting memory
Argument upon needless argument
Conversations past and lost
Kisses, I remember
times of tears and laughter;

Cries from a selfish heart
cement my fate;
Dreams mix with nightmares
Future blurs with past,
I hesitate;
Reflect;
And see before me
not the whole,
not the perfect wall I thought,
but the broken bricks
that shame me;

Boldly they stand out;
Perfect reminders of my failings;
Faults in my perfection;
I stand,
amazed, gazing at my wall.
I can't see through it,
I can't walk around;
It surrounds my soul
with silent images of lost opportunity.

I turn in circles,
with my arms outstretched,
head back,
laughing at the bright blue sky above me;
Content in my safety;
Trapped by desire
to breakdown; rebuild , renew.

Then,
out of the peace,
you scale my wall
Clambering,
Clawing at my security,
You break my peace
and invade my solitude.

Silently
I reach for you
I help you down
to view my handy work
Alone
We stare at each other

Alone,
for years;
Nothing;
No feelings emerge.
And so
in cold, silent frustration, you leave
and I have my space again;

Alone
Staring
into the eyes of our children
Who
with youthful ignorance and determination
are already planning
a wall
of their own.

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