Polarity

By fluffeu

Tue, 14 Sep 2010
  • 1092 reads
4 comments
 

Silly, crazy, raving mad
Dancing, jumping singing glad
Flip the switch and I'll turn off
Angry, cold, conniving scoff
What brings out the bat in me
The darker side, the killing spree
What controls the light, the lack
How to stay here, to not go back
I search inside the spinning wheels
I cock my head, I click my heels
Am swept away, a spinning top
Dizzy, happy, nauseous... stop!
A moment - breathe - the worst's behind
Oh, to find some peace of mind.

Certificate U
Poem
Sudden Poetry
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by russiandoll on
I like this too - very well done! Perhaps only feedback comment would be to experiment a bit with some line breaks in the first 8 ish lines, just to help with the rhythmn and flow. Glad to meet your work fluffeu :)

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Fluffeu, It sounds like someones got alot going on inside their mind. Good use of words. Jenny.

 

Submitted by iDrew on
Not a huge fan of rhymes but I really like this. Well done honey. xDrew the Clueless Collective: http://www.cluelesscollective.co.uk

the CLUELESS COLLECTIVE'S magazine is now a blog:

https://thecluelesscollective.blogspot.com

Submitted by fluffeu on
thank you - I agree... especially the first two lines could use some work - as Jenny pointed out, a lot inside - sometimes the release could use a little finesse, :D. Thank you for you fabulousness, Drew, Jenny, russiandoll xx