My Creation Story... so far

My Creation Story

            God just won’t leave me alone and goodness knows I’ve done some running over the years.  From a crèche just weeks old to where I stand God keeps coming into my life and he doesn’t seem to be taking no for an answer.

            Yet unlike the persistent and highly polished sales pitches of those interminable tele-sales callers I can see no catch in God’s message.  So why then have a walked away from it so many times over my life?

            Just like the chatter over the internet, the endless drivel on social websites and the meaningless texts that drone on for ever, I have become drowned in it all.  I read in the Gospels (or was it in Paul’s epistles) about the many false prophets that will (have) come.  My brain has become log-jammed and doesn’t know what is real anymore.

            Speaking of chatter…prayer to me has been just like the chatter in the last paragraph.  Endless chatter by me (when I can be bothered) and it is no wonder I can’t hear God.  He can’t get a word in edge ways and when he does, if the answer is not to my liking I pretend all too easily not to hear it.  So I began to look at myself and by that I mean REALLY look.  Just like the stone that was rolled away from the tomb I had to shift a massive obstacle to see inside.  I had to part the screen that I put up for the world outside to gaze upon that hid real me.

            I was surprised and humbled at what I saw.  I thought it would be all sin and shame. All bad and all selfish from start to finish.  Yes, there was some of that.  I suppose we all have those blotches on the canvas that is painted of our lives, but to my surprise I saw some good stuff too!  Why should I not have seen positive things?  God has been in my life for sixty years now and has always been there despite me often turning my back on him.

            The good things I saw always seemed to point back to the one who has always loved me and his part in my life.  I have lost count of the times a door seemed to slam in my face and the dark self-centred sulking that followed only festered into open resentment.  So when I looked back I saw the next door opening and always to a brighter future.  Seems the part time god I employed has been working full time on keeping me.  I use the small ‘g’ on purpose, for that is God as I wanted him to be.  Accepting the Father’s love demands that selfish sulky egotism be laid on one side.  Submission and admission are often mentioned in the Christian Faith, but how many times have I meant it?  I usually give in when things are going badly for me and I need an emotional crutch to lean on.

            God has been there in the good times as well and I can now rejoice in his love for me.  He seems to be telling me that it is all right to be happy.  I remember a childhood hymn from my Methodist Sunday School days ‘Count your blessings, count them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done…’   I could be here a long time if I tried to start counting.