Asylum

By francisraymondarevalo

Thu, 08 Sep 2011
  • 1218 reads
6 comments
 

Trapped alone,
Away from there,
I hear them.
In that darkened hall,
I rust with the bars that lock me all day
In this house
Of ravished choices
Neglected cremated noises
And agonizing lust
Of dark demented voices,
Haunting the most fragile
Of minds,
touch me not!
These bonds
that shackle my soul
From sanity
Take wing!
and fly me away
To eternity!

..Yet I'm here
Trapped alone,
Away from there.

Certificate U
Poem
Grim
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by MaggieG on
"I rust by the bars that lock me all day" I really like this line Hun. I am inclined to think "rust with" as opposed to "rust by" would be even better though Much enjoyed this read :)

Submitted by francisraymonda... on
hmm....you're right! hold on... and thank you :)

 

Submitted by MaggieG on
very nice :) I am curious... Are you a fan of Poe's ? Because you certainly write like you have read him :)

Submitted by francisraymonda... on
Yes! :D His works were the first ones that opened up my eyes to the wonderful world of literary writing...

 

Submitted by MaggieG on
Might I suggest something ? ( and I am suggesting this because you seem to be one of the Poe lovers who can do it ) What has always created a "negative" response for me with "Poesque" type writers is their fervent belief that they need to stick to the antiquated language. They don't. For me, the secret to Poe was his rhythm ( an eerie heartbeat if you will ) You have that as well. Pay close attention to that please :)

Submitted by francisraymonda... on
will do