Dreams and Lies at Gold Reef Bay

"Do you think that 'coon'll bite her?" Marv asked as he stuffed his
mouth with coconut shrimp, a popular dish at Sam's Crab Shack.

"Hell no," Eddy said, straining to crack open a king crab leg. "It's
her pet for God's sakes."

"Well it's a big sonofabitch, biggest I ever seen," Marv proclaimed.
"My uncle used to hunt 'coons, and take me with. Always better to shoot
them with a spotlight before a gun he says, but he wasn't much for
shooting. He'd wing them, and then I'd be stuck clubbing them to death
before they clawed us down and gave us the rabies."

Eddy seemed distracted, trying to open his crab legs. "Jesus Eddy, you
should've gotten the coconut shrimp. Less labor, more eating."

"Hey, why don't you shut the fuck up? Besides, they're all you can eat,
and they're better than that Hawaiian shit you've got over there. There
should be a funny umbrella sticking out of those God-awful
things."

Marv just shrugged, dipping another shrimp into his melted butter and
crammed it in his mouth, raking the fork against his teeth as he pulled
it out.

"Damn it Marv, I told you to stop doing that, it's worse than that
chalkboard sound!" Eddy was still struggling to open up his crab leg,
determined to do it without the nutcracker the waitress gave him. His
face was pink and strained underneath his Red Sox hat. His eyes were a
brilliant green, but they shined only because they craved sleep.

"You're not going to be hungry anymore when you finally get that thing
open," Marv said.

"Don't you think I'd be more hungry since I haven't eaten anything? Or
does hunger just disappear in your world when someone is edgy?"

"Jeez, take it easy Eddy. You know I'm tense about this whole thing
too."

"You shouldn't be. Just think about the money." Eddy's crab leg busted
open violently, and he banged his hand against the table, but he went
about pulling out the meat like nothing happened.

Marv just rooted around in his plate with a fork, looking blankly out
the window towards Gold Reef Bay, which was still and silent, almost
mirror-like from miles away. It absorbed the trees around it, the
stars, and the moon, shooting reflections back that were even more
gorgeous and believable than the real thing.

"She's so old," he said.

"Just think about the money," Eddy said, trying to scrape out some
crabmeat with his seafood fork. "This fucking thing . . . is there glue
holding that stuff in there?"

"I don't know Eddy."

"I didn't really think there was glue in there dipshit."

"I mean about the old lady. She said that she was friends with the
president."

"First of all Marv, she said she was friends with the first lady. Big
difference. Second of all, she's full of shit. Wouldn't you say
anything you could think up to save your life?"

"Awfully strange thing to say." Marv scratched at his blonde, shaggy
hairdo and let out a sigh. "So what's the plan?"

Eddy tried to shove a small piece of crabmeat into his mouth, but it
fell down his chin with a stream of butter.

"Or maybe I shouldn't ask. If you can't eat, you sure as hell shouldn't
mastermind the execution of a little old lady."

"Fuck you," Eddy said, wiping his mouth. "Mister Rogers couldn't fuck
this up. No one likes her. No one cares. I mean, her son of all people
wants her dead, and she's too crazy to be a problem. I'll bet you could
talk her into jumping into the water, but as it stands right now, we'll
just leave her in the trunk and drive the whole damn car in
there."

"That's a . . . you have some of that shit in your goatee Ed." Eddy
immediately pulled his hand across his face, like he were Satan basking
in his own cleverness. "That's a 1972 Cadillac El Dorado. It's not in
great shape, but I wouldn't mind keeping it."

Eddy was still stroking his whiskers. "You're way too dense. Mr.
Tolliver gave us that car just for this job. We can get rid of her and
the car, and with your cut, you can but all the 1972 Cadillac El
Dorado's your heart desires."

"Oh, I don't think I need a car. Just a plane ticket. Just get our golf
course and sit at it all day long and never have to drive anywhere. And
I guess now I don't have to worry about that raccoon shitting and
pissing in the trunk."

"Hell, I'd be more worried about that old bag shitting and pissing in
the trunk. We should've gagged more than her mouth!" Eddy let out a
deep laugh.

Marv didn't look as amused, but he was secretly glad that Eddy let her
take the raccoon with. Sure, it made it easier to get Norma in the
trunk, but she didn't know she was going for her last ride. She
probably though that this was for a ransome-a ransome her son would pay
to get her back.

"You boys doing alright?" the waitress asked.

"Just as soon as we get the check darlin," Eddy said. "You ready for
this Marv?"

"'Bout as ready as I'll ever be I guess."

"Well then here's the deal. We don't dump her right in the mouth of the
bay. I've got a perfect spot picked out, it's a little access area
called Mallard Point. They have handicapped duckhunters wheeled out
there to hunt. There's a lock on the gate because it's out of season,
but I've got boltcutters, and I mean this place is completely desserted
for at least a few miles. After we're done, it would be safer to walk
instead of using one of our cars. I need the exercise, we've got
flashlights, and we'll have plenty of time. Plus, we could easily dodge
any traffic by ducking into the wild grass or the forest."

Marv acted as if he didn't hear any of it.

"Marv, just nut up tonight. Just one night, and you'll have your golf
course."

"I thought it was supposed to be our golf course," Marv said.

"Yeah, ours. Just concentrate on the matter at hand, and we'll be able
to put this all behind us."

"You sure about that?" Marv spat back. Eddy just stared at him.

The waitress put the check on the table, and Eddy snatched it up as if
he were the fearless leader of the operation. Marv liked it better that
way.

The parking lot of Sam's Crab Shack was covered with dusty gravel and
gaping potholes, one of which Eddy almost tripped over, regaining his
balance at the last second. Marv parked the El Dorado at the truck stop
across the street, so they had to navigate the entire minefield of
potholes, as well as the traffic from the ramp to highway 42.

Eddy hopped in and fired up the Cadillac. Marv immediately pulled his
seatbelt over his shoulder, and he looked at the moon. There were two
of them-one flanked by stars--a glowing, watchful eye. The other was
submerged in the bay, rippling with the water as the cool breeze
skimmed over it. They were both full and bright, lighting up the
blossoms on the waves of wild grass near the bay. The trees were tall,
but lumped together and far from the road, making up some barrier that
protected the privacy of the access areas at Gold Reef. They swayed
gently in the breeze.

The El Dorado hummed past the on-ramp to the highway, turning right and
carving its way towards Mallard Point. As it turned, the woman in the
trunk banged against the side. Marv could hear her yelling, screaming
even, but Eddy just turned up the radio.

"Eddy," Marv said softly. Eddy said nothing, he just kept his eyes on
the road.

"Don't Marv, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Eddy, it's her last ride for God's sakes. She's old. She won't hurt us
if we let her ride in the back."

"Really now? Marv, I know you like I know myself. If we put her back
there and then we kill her, we'll never, ever forget that face. It'll
haunt us forever."

"We've already seen her face," Marv said. "If we just kill her like
this, without so much as a last request, a last word, a last ride . . .
I don't know, it would just make me feel better this way. Besides, if
we got pulled over, it's a lot easier to explain a crazy old lady in
the backseat than in the trunk."

"There's no one out here, how many times do I have to say it?" Eddy
pushed on the brakes. He didn't slam on them, but he tried to act mad
while he pulled the car over. Marv knew it was mostly an act, and it
made him feel better.

"You do realize that we don't have a gun," Eddy said as he yanked out
the keys. "If she tries anything, you're the one who's going to have to
slug or strangle her. It's on your fucking hands, alright Marv?"

"Fine," he answered as Eddy searched for the key to the trunk. The
woman was pounding against the trunk, muffled against her gag.

On the third try, Eddy popped the trunk open, immediately heading
towards the driver's seat.

"You untie her," he said.

She was on her stomach, unable to turn over. He cut the duct tape that
held her hands and feet with the knife in his multi-pliers. She turned
over, sweaty and wrinkled in the moonlight, her eyes bulging and blue.
Her hair was stringy and unnaturally blondish in color, and her lips
were thin and course. The fat raccoon was curled up against her, and
looked tame.

"Norma," Marv said loudly, "You're going to sit with us, OK? Just try
and stay calm. Don't be going ya-ya on us here, or you'll be riding
back here again." He yanked off her thick, gray, duct tape gag.

"Oh, my goodness," she yelped, reaching for the startled raccoon. She
cradled it in her arms. "Oh, my little Links. Links, my darling, you're
ok. Mommy's here now . . . shhhhh." The raccoon didn't respond with the
same affection. He looked sedated, with slits for eyes and a general
disinterest in what was going on.

"Come on out of there Norma. We don't have a lot of time here."

She draped her legs over the edge of the trunk, and Marv gave her a
hand, pulling her out. It had a cool smoothness to it.

"Come on Links," she said.

"The 'coon stays," Marv said, slamming the hood.

"No, no, no," Norma said, groping the powder blue trunk of the
Cadillac, scratching her nails against it, sounding similar to the fork
against Marv's teeth at the crab shack. "Links is my baby, my baby,
don't you understand?"

"I do," Marv said, taking her hand again. "Please just get in the car.
He'll be safe back here, I promise."

She followed as he led her to the broad door of the El Dorado. Eddy was
angry and silent at the wheel.

"You're a good man. I can feel it. I can feel those things, and you're
a good man, which is why I don't know why you took me. Where are you
taking me? Why?"

She rambled on as Marv helped her into the backseat, taking his place
in the front and slamming the door shut. Eddy punched the accelerator,
spitting gravel against the undercarriage.

"You happy now?" he said.

"You know what Eddy, fuck you, you heartless prick."

"She's back there, isn't she? Just don't talk to me. Seriously. Just
keep your mouth shut."

"It's hot in here," Norma said. The windows were down and Marv's jacket
was drawn against him, yet she was warm. "The hot air, it's not good
for my lungs," she said.

"No one cares," Eddy said.

"Well I never . . . I had a transplant you know. You should be more
considerate."

"Oh," Marv said. "What kind?"

"A lung transplant silly. They almost collapsed when I climbed Mt.
Everest. I had to have them both replaced."

Marv was shocked by the sheer lunacy of what he heard. Eddy just
laughed.

"And tell me granny, when did you climb Mt. Everest?"

"Oh, I do it every year," Norma said, matter of factly. "Special
mushrooms grow there. You can't get to them unless you rappel down a
certain cliff, but they're worth it, believe me."

"Yeah. A double lung transplant. That's rich. How'd you afford that
one?" Eddy said.

"I invented Ziplock bags," she answered. "And my mushrooms, they do
things to people. I eat them because they do special things to me. I
can see things. I hear things. They're very special."

Eddy just opened his eyes wide and peered over at Marv, shaking his
head.
"Yeah, I think I've had some of those," Eddy said.

"No, not the ones from the supermarket. I've had those before," Norma
said. "Special mushrooms. Those are the ones. You can see things. I can
see that you boys are scared of something. You should be. There's a lot
of things about me that people don't believe."

"Your witness, your honor," Eddy yelped. "Christ."

Norma chimed right in. "Hey, I knew a lawyer. He was a damn good one
too. I don't know if he ever lost a case to be honest, I think Ben was
his name. Ben Matlock."

"That's nice," Marv said.

"Listen, Norma baby, Ben Matlock is a television character. He doesn't
exist. Neither do lung transplants, or pink elephants for that matter."
Eddy voice was scalding, bursting with more astonishment than
hatred.

There was a long silence. Just a humming engine, Marv's sweaty hands
and Eddy guiding the car along. Mallard Point couldn't come fast
enough. She was so blatant and confident in her lunacy that he felt
exposed. He was just a piece of naked film in the darkroom of New
England night, and the moon was shining down, a watchful eye swollen
with accusation.

"My arm is made out of gold," she said with no invitation or reason. "I
was fishing with my husband. I lost it to a bear, a medium one but a
mean on, and when he saw what happened he passed right out. I carried
my arm and him to the car and drove us to the hospital. The arm was
done for, but they had a special golden one made for me."

"Shut up," Eddy said. Marv heard the fear in his voice and knew he
wasn't alone in feeling uncomfortable. Marv rubbed his wet hands
together. He had been secretly wondering why she had a bowling brace on
her wrist.

"You're not a very nice man," Norma said. "Not like Nomar. He and the
Red Sox come over every July Fourth for a barbeque at my house."

"That's nice," Marv said again, this time with a shaking voice.

"I can strike him out you know. With my golden arm."

To Marv, every word she said was like water torture. They were harmless
and stupid, but they just kept coming. They wouldn't stop, and his mind
played tricks with every one. Eddy's hands were at ten and two on the
wheel, which was a first. They were going sixty on a curving, country
road.

"Links is my real son you know," Norma said. Neither man said a word.
"There was an experiment . . . my son was put into Links, and Links was
put into my son. He may look like a man, but he's devilish and clever.
Like a raccoon. I don't think he likes me, but Links does. Because he's
my son."

"Lady," Eddy said. "No one is asking you to talk. Is it just that you
like the sound of your own voice, or are you just plain fucking nuts?
You're freaking me out, so keep a lid on it. And you're right, your son
is devilish. That's why we're dumping you in the river."

"Jesus," Marv said. He realized that Eddy said that out of spite. She
didn't have to know who wanted her dead, but Eddy just couldn't help
but try to shut her up. It wasn't that cold outside, but Marv was
shivering. The back of his head felt numb. They were close now, and he
was wondering if they could really do it.

"I should've known as much," Norma said, unphased. "But he doesn't
know. You don't know. Neither of you."

Eddy and Marv remained silent. Neither wanted her to finish what she
started to say. Two full minutes passed. Marv noticed the Mallard Point
sign which said that they were two miles away. They were almost there,
and it appeared she wasn't going to talk anymore.

"I have powers," Norma said, her voice carrying over the air rushing
through the window.

Eddy sped up, as Marv hoped he would. He didn't want to hear this. The
tone of her voice was dead serious, and it carried a certain weight
that neither man could cast off with cynicism.

"I have powers. Lots of them. Some of them I can't control. People
don't believe me sometimes, but I do. You should believe me. Maybe if I
told you about Buffalo. It was a while back, and you got away with it,
but I know all about it, and I can punish you. I can punish you with my
golden arm."

Both men said nothing. Eddy took a hard right into the entrance to
Mallard Point, causing the Caddy to bottom out as it shot over a deep
pothole in the road, which was nothing more than two strips of chunky
rocks with a fat, grassy center. As she was finishing her rant, they
pulled right up to a large steel arm that ran across the road, secured
with a single padlock.

"I'll grab the boltcutters, you watch her." Eddy lept out before Marv
could answer. Marv jumped out after him.

"Eddy," he said in a loud whisper, running back to the trunk. "I don't
think we should do this."

"There's no turning back now. Are you going to let an old lady spook
you out like that?"

"Yes," Marv said. "She's right about Buffalo."

Eddy froze as the trunk jumped out of its lock. He stared down at
Links, who was lazily curled up in the center. "What? I didn't do shit
in Buffalo!"

"I did. Three years back. I don't know the excuse I gave you about
leaving, but I was visiting my father and there was this girl . . . I
mean, I had to have her Eddy. I had to, and I was drunk, and you know .
. ."

"No, I don't know," Eddy shot back before he could finish. "I don't
know anything about that, but what I do know is that there's a witch or
something in the fucking car, and what do you want to do about
it?"

"Let her go," Marv said. "Because I'm not getting near her. If she says
one more word, it might drive me mad. Especially if she's right
again."

Eddy just looked at him and Marv knew that he wanted to let her go
too.

"Hey Norma," Marv yelled. "You can get out now. Just leave. Just don't
say anything about this, please. Just leave."

"I knew you were a nice boy," Norma said. Marv thought that he caught
her winking at him as she crawled out, but it might've been the
moonlight catching her eye.

"Don't forget the 'coon," Eddy said, leaving the trunk open for her.
"It's just a couple of miles until you get to Stirling, a town on the
edge of the bay. Go towards the lights." As she came to the back, Eddy
headed up front. He couldn't bear to look at her.

Norma grabbed Links and didn't seem to be paying attention. She coddled
him as she closed the trunk, picking him up and carrying him like an
infant as she disappeared into the dark, tickling at his belly.

There was a long silence in the El Dorado, which soon passed Sam's Crab
Shack and was heading further south to their apartment.

"We need to ditch this car," Eddy said.

"We need to ditch a lot of things," Marv answered.

"Yeah. Do you remember when we were kids? In high school I mean. We
always imagined that we would just let everything go, just drive with
the top down and the sun shining until we found a place to settle in
and start up the golf course. The one with the special targets on the
driving range."

"I remember," Marv said, smiling. "Great idea. It just takes a lot of
money."

"We passed up a lot of money tonight," Eddy said. "Do you remember when
we first met?"

"Nope," Marv said.

"It's been that long." Eddy let out a deep sigh. "We always say, 'I
know you better than you know yourself.'"

"We do say that a lot," Marv said.

There was another long silence.

"Nothing ever happened in Buffalo, did there?"

Marv kept his eyes straight ahead. "Never been to Buffalo, and you know
it."

"Yeah. You're a shitty actor you know," Eddy said with relief in his
voice. He smiled for the first time in a long time.

"You know what Marv?"

"What?"

"Blackmail isn't such a bad thing, is it?"

"Sure isn't." Eddy was patting the inside of his coat. "You know, we've
never played golf though. We might not even like it, all those rich
pricks coming through all day with funny hats and checkered
pants."

"Never thought of it that way," Marv said.

"A pool hall," Eddy said. "Beer, shit like that. Sell what you know,
you know?"

The wild grass rippled like the bay itself under the gentle palm of the
breeze. The moon was still full, its beams falling through the
windshield of the shoddy Cadillac.

By the time they ditched the car, Marv was beaming with a smile of his
own.