CHAPTER ONE: ENVY

She was beautiful. She traveled all the right paths even if they were too rough too sustain. She was: intelligent, obedient, self-loving, and strong; and I envied her.
It wasn't that my life sucked, no not at all.I had a great family, I had great friends, I even had a great scholarship going my way. Fact of the matter was that I envied her willingness to survive. I envied her careful thought process. When everyone was getting drunk at parties, she would be the one in the bathroom; with the girl that was puking her guts out, and had no way to go home because, her friends ditched her. Oh yes, I envied her caring and loving ways. She was perfect: perfect blond hair, perfect blue eyes, perfect caressing smile. She was who she was, and it was like all of her chips fell into place.
For me, it was easy to be who I am. Although, I never really knew who I was. I used to wish I was her for one day. I would sit in the mirror and try to find an ounce of beauty that was somehow connected to her. It seemed as if she held all the right cards. She always acted as if she knew who she was and where she was going. I guess my opinion changed when red-beaming lights woke me up in the middle of the night; and sirens screamed louder and louder as they reached my neighbors house. All of the rest of my neighbors were outside; arms crossed concerned faces. A lot more were still piling outside their houses quickly wrapping their clothes over their bodies; yelling the questions we all wanted to know like, "What the hell is going on?" And "Is everyone okay, Why are the Police and EMTs at the Benson's house?"
What came next, made me re-evaluate her, my definition of perfect, and life its self.