Cynthia's Secret

Cynthia’s secret

I watch the young girls go by thinking “You will catch your death in that” however you know they know better just like I thought I did. Back in my day though things were different.

“Be straight home” my father would drunkenly shout at me as I left for work. Mum died when I was twelve and I was the oldest so I had to bring up my little sister Rose when my father plunged into the depths of booze.

When I left school I knew from looking after Rose I wanted to look after people. I loved caring for her. As soon as I was old enough I applied for The Royal College of nursing. I loved every minute of it.

The day I came home and found Rose lying at the bottom of the stairs is something I’ll never forget. She had tripped on a bottle left by our father at the top of the stairs. The glass cut her head wide open and then she fell down the staircase. The doctors could not save her and father blamed me and I was weak enough to let him.

I had nothing just my job to get me through it all. When I tried to make new friends father said that if I went out never to come back and the house was in his name. So what could I do?

As time went by I would watch young couples wishing I could have just a piece of their happiness. All that seemed to wait for me was a life alone cleaning up after father. The nursing quarters at the hospital were full and life was passing me by. Girls I had went to school with were getting married and starting families. Mind not that I envied them when I seen them come into the hospital in labour.

One day I was going to get my coat and bag at the end of my shift when suddenly my body just stopped and everything went black.

I opened my eyes to find a handsome young doctor next to me. “Hello Cynthia you gave us quite a shock. “I‘m Doctor Branford” he said in his deep voice. “You’ve been exhausted and need to take it easy. You’ll be off for few weeks” he told me firmly. I wished I could marry him there and then with his huge masculine build, dark hair and piercing eyes.

My Father never came to see me in hospital. He was to busy getting drunk in the pub. My days were mainly reading and staring around my ward. It was the chats with Dr Branford or should we say James that stopped me from going insane. He always smiled even if he had the longest of days when he came to see me and my heart would go faster when he came to see me.

I could feel myself not wanting to go home on the day I was discharged. Me and James talking gave me a much needed boast in life I felt like I might never see him as we worked on different wards at the hospital.

“Home at last, wondered when the place might look decent again” my Father said. The place smelt so badly I was just managed to stop myself throwing up. The sink was full of dirty dishes then I seen my father standing behind me drinking his bottle of larger “Now that your back you’ll find the cleaning stuff were you left it. Have it all done by the time I get back”.

When the door slammed shut I fell to the floor in tears. I wanted the warmth of James’s arms around me. I wasted time crying and only just got done before he got home. Then when he walked in he vomited all over the carpet.

The next day as I was doing the washing up when someone knocked on the door. As I opened up what I saw before me made my heart fill up with joy. “JAMES” I said trying to hold back the smile on my face. He stood there with that same old smile on his face I just let him in and felt my heart race. “I just don’t feel the same without you” he said taking me into his arms. I could have stayed on that spot forever but back to reality my Father could come home as he had only went to the shops for larger.

As my Father came through the door I turned around “This is James a doctor from work” I said. I wished I could call James my boyfriend but all father did was give him a disapproving look before cracking open a bottle and declaring “I don’t know what I’d do without this girl” James looked at me before saying “She should have men queuing up to go out with her” he then picked up his coat “If you need me I’m here or work” James told me handing me a piece of note paper with his lodging address on.

Back at work I was moved to James’s ward. I loved working alongside him I could do twelve hours and still hate to go home. One day I was just collecting my things to go home and as I left the cloakroom I saw him standing waiting for me “Lets have dinner were both off next Thursday if you fancy.” My heart just said “YES” for me.

I told father I was put on nightshift he just grinned and told me to get larger for him on the way home for once him not caring worked to my advantage. I made my way to the hospital to meet James. I had a big black coat on to hide that I had not put my uniform on which I had hid under my bed.

I’ll never forget that night. I felt like a Queen we went out of town to this fine restaurant. James guided me to my seat and took my coat. We had the best wine on the menu. When we finished we walked along the promenade to the train station to catch the last train home. The evening was perfect so perfect I spent the night with him.

“Popular girl on nightshift you” father told me as I left the house for another date but this time I felt different this time. “It’s the first time my body clock’s been late” I told James. “You’ll have to sort it out” he said. My jaw nearly hit the ground with shock. “There’s something you should know” James said. There was a few seconds pause before he continued “I’ve been promised to another woman”. I was to shocked to say anything. I just got out the car and walked off into the rain.

In the dark night I made my way along this filthy ally way and knocked three times on the door at the end. A middle aged woman answered “Hello dear come in”. I could feel myself dreading what I was about to let be done to me. The agony inside me made it the worst experience of my life as she stuck the knitting needle inside my body.

I went home prepared to tell father I was sent home sick from work. A body lay outside the front door “must be a tramp I said to myself”. As I staggered towards the door the face became clear and I felt my stomach heave.

Father’s lifeless face looked straight at me the blood pouring out his head as I frantically made my way inside to get help. All feeling of pain seemed to be blocked. Suddenly I heard the police sirens. Before I knew it an officer was guiding me inside. The question came out “Where have you been this evening?” he said. I felt the fear run through me like a weapon of mass destruction. My heart pounding the words came out “At the hospital, I’m a nurse”. Not realising that would be what sealed my fate.

Hours later the police were back. I’ll never forget the phrase “Cynthia Blackwell I’m arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Robert Blackwell…” everything seemed a blur after that all my years in prison untill the invention of this D.N.A stuff. My finger prints were not on the murder weapon which my father’s killer left behind.

THE END