Xerxes

Xerxes was a Persian king
who hated Greeks like anything.
It wasn’t that they were so bad,
it’s just that they had stuffed his dad
at Marathon, (you know the place,
it gave its name to that long race).
The great king rather liked to win
by killing people fat or thin
and strewing them all over town
and burning lots of buildings down.
He liked girls and he liked treasure
but he preferred this darker pleasure.
So off he marched with his big army
and no one dared to call him barmy,
for if he heard what they had said
he soon relieved them of their head.
He built a great big bridge of boats
“Oh jolly good” he said, “it floats.”
Then keeping up a fearful pace,
he marched his brave lads into Thrace.
Unhappily for Xerxes’ plot
Themistocles had heard the lot.
When he did, he cried “Good gravy!
Here’s a nice job for our navy.”
On land as well he had a plan.
The Spartan king, the very man,
to head them off up at the pass
(his name it was Leonidas).
The pass was called Thermopylae,
and Leo got there after tea,
just in time to stop the Persians,
says history in all its versions.
Although he ended up quite dead,
Leonidas, the Greeks all said,
would be remembered as a hero,
rather than a living zero.
Before Xerxes could take the piss
he lost at sea at Salamis.
He gnashed his teeth; he tore his wig:
he’d lost and really lost quite big
“You, Greeks” he wailed, “I hate and curse ya!”
and buggered off right back to Persia