How You Remind Me

Secret #5: even though i complain about it a lot, i actually like my big butt. And i honestly pity all those who are buttless.

Yesterday i was listening to Ben Harper's "Suzy Blue" which always makes me smile, and reminds me of so many people, most of whom are no longer here, but still every now and then something triggers their memory.

Shahir pulled me out of my bed, onto the beach, and said we'd take a little swim. We kept swimming, i kept asking where we were heading, and half an hour later, he dragged me onto a little rock sticking out of the water. He'd needed to swim that far out to tell me about his feelings.

Spaz, and his sugar-high giggle. He loved Jay Leno, I was more Conan. He introduced me to Jars of Clay and his parents loved me. I don't miss him.

Mostafa and the rose he pressed into my palm. even though he'd just stolen it from my best friend's bouquet. The time he'd pretended to make macaroni and cheese, but it was really his cook's. I tore up the only picture he had of me, because i look cross-eyed.

Tarek let me have his armchair, as we laughed ourselves sick to Seinfeld. Looking back, the episodes weren't that funny, but he was high and i was happy. he called me gorgeous.

Sherif B. and the night we met on the beach, sat on the roof of his Jeep; he drank his beer, i counted the stars, and then we played Chemical Brothers real loud, spun in the sand till we become constellations.

Khaled, his guitar, cigarette in corner of mouth, the dirty look he gives me whenever i act too sweet or too cute, the fact that he called his car Azza. And he had a toy mouse hanging from the mirror called Moataz.

Omar's laugh, Karim's eyes, the way Wael pulled me in by my belt, Ahmed's smell, Shahir's hands, Waleed's watch, Rami's music.

And the morning i woke up and saw Mik in the distance. And thought to myself, what a pity i was leaving so soon.
Frou Frou's "Must be Dreaming" came on at 3am, Hisham drove on and didn't see me cry.

I've tried so hard to think of the best of them, when in fact i just want to add the customary "Bastard/Asshole" next to certain names.

So there you go.