Other girl

I took a deep breath and tried to climb gracefully into the car. I
shut the door, turned around and smiled at the boy in the driver's
seat.

I waited. But he only asked, "Is anyone else coming?"

My smile faded and I looked down at my dress.
He hadn't noticed.

My tight skirt, bare shoulders, my make up, my hair, it was all for
him. It was all for one compliment or one look. He hadn't even
noticed.

"Well?" he sounded impatient. He always did.
He had better things to do than waste time on me. After all, I was just a friend.

His girlfriend was miles away, and couldn't make it to the party tonight.

I could.

We drove on, he talked and I played along.
The way he spoke to me, I felt like a younger sister, not a girl who's
been in love with him since the day she met him.

I've been through three boyfriends, and he's still there.

I've fallen in and out of crushes, and still he's always there in the back of my
head.

And even though I try so hard, he won't let me forget him. He won't
let me get over him.

It's not his fault. He doesn't do it intentionally, but sometimes when
I'm starting to believe that he feels nothing for me, he calls me up, flirts, compliments me on my body or hair, calls me his favorite.

For a few moments he makes me feel wanted, all my walls collapse and I
give up hope again.
We drove on and he started to talk about breaking up with her.

I should have been jumping for joy and wringing his neck with
affection, but instead I listened. We'd had this conversation before,
and I didn't trust him.

All it takes is one smile and a few cute words from her to make him
change his mind again.

Then he mentioned some other girl's name, someone he loved to flirt
with, someone perfect, someone not me.

I closed my eyes.

It's never me. Why can't he want me?

My best friend thinks he does.
She says when we're together, we look more than friends. She says the
way he looks at me, the way we flirt, she says it means
something.

But whenever she gives me hope, his girlfriend
tells me just how romantic their date was, just how sweet
his kisses are.

The irony of it, of all people, she chooses to tell me. I'm touched that she trusts me. But neither of them ever think of me, or wonder how
I feel.

The irony of it all is that of all people, I am now persuading him to stay with her.

We walked into the room, the music vibrating through our bodies,
people turned and checked me out as he greeted some friends.

The music throbbed in my head as I moved to it and danced: hips swaying, body spinning, i danced and silently willed him to look
at me.
Putting on a show.

I looked up and he was dancing in front of me, so close, close enough
to touch and kiss.

All I had to do was reach out and put my arms around
his neck, and get closer, the way it should be.

I held my breath as our bodies moved together, I watched his face and
wondered if he was holding his breath too.

This was serious.

The air was heavy with electricity,and then, as the beat grew so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts,
I found his hand circling my waist, the other reaching for my hands. He threaded his fingers through mine and pressed his other hand into the small of my back.
All I could think was "That's where his hands belong."

I stared into his eyes and tried to understand.
What is this? What are we doing? Are you going to hurt me?
I knew the answers.I knew this would end and everything would go back to normal. There was no getting rid of his girlfriend.
But in this moment, with his lips too close to mine, and his fingers tracing circles on my back, I let it go and wished for just one kiss, the one i've been waiting for all this time.
I looked into his honey eyes and willed him to lean in, but then the song ended and he pulled back, his fingers left the threading of mine.

Couples left the dance floor and he looked away.
" Do you know that girl over there?" he asked and pointed at someone
behind me, "I wouldn't mind you setting me up with her."