A Weekend With Gleaming Biceps

Well, it had to happen sooner or later.
all that fervent praying and shaking finger angrily at the sky had to be answered.
God, who obviously has a sense of humour, said "ok then," and sent me Gleaming Biceps all the way to our little resort on the north coast.
All mine.
My preeeeeessshhhhhuuuuussssss.
It was meant to be.
A weekend of me, him, my skimpy bikini, suntan oil glistening on his biceps, and many dark corners....
*sigh*
until i discovered, that with the blessing of perfect vision for once, i could see three things:
1. Gleaming Biceps had a belly
2. I am such a flirt that i made even him blush
3. He's just another al-talk-and-no-do-guy

Seriously, the things that come out of my mouth shock my prim-goody-two-shoes-alter-ego senseless.
the lines i use could come straight out of Mae west movies, smouldering eyes and pouty lips included.
And i think i really enjoyed making him blush, because it showed me that we are just not made for each other, not matter how much he gleams in the sun.
I like someone who can bear the sexual inuendos AND answer back. Now, if he makes ME blush, that's it. He's Got me.

If it had been just the two of us, i would have thrown all morals to the wind and just latched onto him, but unfortunately we were a total of eleven, mostly prim polite girls, so jumping wasnt really on the cards.

Our three days went something like this:

Thursday: the sea was rough, so we chilled out in the garden and cooked fried junk (the combination of eight girls and three guys- all lazy and all incapable of cooking is kinda scary) then we sat outside at night and counted shooting stars (FOUr!! I saw four!! But everytime I saw one I was too busy yelling "I saw a shooting star!" to actually make a wish)

Then we decided to move so we went down and sat on the beach and sang all the bee2a songs we know, but I got a headache from sitting too close to one guy's singing so went upstairs to find Gleaming Biceps lazing on couch. All Alone. With No one to protect him from me.
Hmmm.
It was all i could do to contain myself from jumping onto the couch and purring "Who's Yer Mama?"
So instead i lay sprawled on the opposite couch, in sexiest sprawling position possible, as we talked about relationships and i told him i didnt want a commitment, i just wanted to have fun without the headaches.

It was like telling Charlie he was going to the chocolate factory.

Realising i'd now won his undivided attention, i continued with the seduction by mentioning the story about running around naked in people's gardens when i was two, thus firmly installing the image of me naked in his head.

Think you're smooth?

Bow to the master.

Sadly, just as things got interesting and he wanted me to tell him all other potentially naked stories, the others noisily came back and noisily insisted on watching the comedy channel with us.

Friday was spent mostly horizontal on beach: i did have Terry Pratchett to read, but couldn't focus one bit due to Biceps glisteningly lying next to me.
Up close, i knew that his body wasn't amazing, and in terms of intelligence he scored an alltime low ("i hate reading," he said, "there are just too many words") even his face wasnt as sexy as i thought (it's amazing what lenses can do to change your mind).

But he has a cheeky grin.
and if there's one thing i can't resist, it's cheeky grins.
And glistening biceps. And many other qualities but let's not get into that.

So there i am, attempting to read the same page for the last ten minutes, while he lies next to me, flirting his Billabong shorts off, and me sighing like a cheshire cat upon finding its next meal.
And while i can't print the things we said for fear of getting some WarningAdultContent on my page, let's just say there was a lot of "come here let me whisper something in your ear" going on.

At some point the boys decided to be all macho and show off their volleyball skills to us females, then they lost miserably to a bunch of old, grinning men. There was talk of my losing my top to dsitract the other team, but the loss was too great to overcome.

Once we'd showered and eaten more fried food (i had microwavable pop corn) Mr GB decided that he'd enough of us losers and said he would drive all the way back to agami so he could go partying. he asked me to go with him, and me being the old fool of a loyal friend, declined and said i should stay with the ungrateful bastards. Big Mistake.

So due to emergency situation, i had to cram a whole night's worth of flirting into two hours.
we sat on the hammock, and i casually kept my feet on his lap, a hint too subtle, so i proceeded to stretch and coo and ooh-look-what-fell-down-lemme-bend-down-to-pick-it-up, and show off my new belly ring and pose just like Auntie West had taught us.
GB was practically salivating at mouth and bent down to kiss when stupid STUPID STUPID friend comes over and asks what we're doing (WHADDYATHINK WE'RE DOIN?) to which GB changes mode by covering my mouth with his hand and kissing his hand in a polite-would-make-a-five-year-old-cringe-with-its-childishness- way. Friend stood there, laughing Ha Ha so we laughed. Ha Ha.
And i secretly decided to wax off friend's chest hair later that night.

So would that count as a kiss? Did he want to kiss me? while all arrows point to YES YOU DUMBASS, including the fact that he said "I'm a great kisser" just after the mouth on hand moment, i have to ask myself why this GB doesnt actually make the move? since i have KISS ME tattooed on my forehead (and considering installing a huge red sign with blinking lights on head) he knows he can have me.
Oh, actually i think i did tell him this.
"I'm not like other girls," i purr at him," i dont like to play games. what's the point? if i want something [stares at him] i will say i want it, and i like something [still eyeballing him] i will say i like it too. that way i get what i want faster and easier."

Right? Right? Now Gimme Five!

so the conclusion is:
Bless Girl: wants GB.
GB: just doesnt have the guts to make a move.
BG: will give GB one last chance to make a move.
GB: will sorely miss out if he doesnt suck up and do it like a man.

awww, we have the same initials, just backtofront! talk about a match made in airhead heavan!
so what do you think?

Saturday Morning: after dreaming of taking wax-revenge on STUPID FRIEND and revising the kissing scene with GB, went down to Beach. Sea was pure-calm so I took a lilo out and drifted around in the water for an hour sunbathing out in silence and was sooooo peaceful that I felt interestingly stoned for the rest of the day- on our way home we stopped off at marina for a great dinner at Johnny carinos then I had to suffer an irritating little female who kept whining and yelling the whole way till she pushed me to borderline-insanity and I yelled back at her which won me ten minutes of silence then I had to pretend I was sleeping coz was too embarrassed of having yelled at her.

think i may have made an enemy. oh well. stand in line, honey.