Mental Peace

This morning the chill was outside of me, it was the first time in a long time.

That cloying, overwhelming feeling that life has been spiralling out of control has been reigned in.

I think I even caught myself smiling, and it felt like it was a real smile, and not the mask that I carved myself for polite situations, a real one, just like the ones I used to wear.

Depression depressed, optimism on the rise, could this be the first day of the rest of my life?

I can feel the lines on my forehead relaxing, the tension in my jaw abating, the ache in my neck improving.

Things are tough all over, always someone worse off, chin up it might never happen.... well being honest with myself... it did happen, it was awful, but at last... for now at least..... It's ok.

I chalk it up to experience, decide to never get caught like that again, again.

A long time dead, a wise man once said.

This thought, woke me at six this morning and made me get up.

Instead of laying there making up excuses for not getting up or for staying there a while longer.

I was awake and wanted to get up and start the day.... which is satisfying in itself, a life to look foreward to, thats what has been now so obviously absent.

Walked to work and was shocked to realise, I was looking forward to it.

A little dash of hope can transform a mood, grab it fast and treasure it.

Your happiness is a powerful thing, never let it all slip away from you, because when it's gone, the will to start collecting again struggles to return.

The colour that happiness brings tints the monochromatic world of the chronically depressed.

And while I thought for many many years (I tried to convince myself) that I actually preferred the grey and the black and the white.

The truth is, now that I see it.... that I want my life blasted at me in technicolour widescreen digital pinsharp crikey vision.

The futures bright the futures colourful..... at last.

Mental Peace