Thirteen Letters. Chapter Twelve.

Tonight, was my turn to have Questions and Answers, there was an excitement in the air from the live studio audience, Maxine had briefed me on what to say for my answers, for this was my job description, me doing my acting. Maxine was also in the audience, but at the back. The man that would be asking the questions is a good friend of Maxine’s, brought in for the night, I’d met him this morning for the first time, Maxine was there and she was happy with my answers to the questions.

It was now seven minutes past seven, and Hal asked me the first question. I pretended to think of my answer before I replied, then he asked me the second question, I answered quicker this time, like I was told to. Eventually, Hal then asked me the seventh and final question, Hal said, “Some people have heard rumours, that you are controlled and ruled my Maxine, and some of the general publics have not liked this at all, IF it is true, can you confirm or deny this?” Now I knew exactly what Maxine had told me to say, but with my heart beating hard in my chest, I knew it was now or never!

I replied to Hal, and I didn’t look up to the back, where Maxine was, and I said, “Maxine, doesn’t know that I am going to say this, neither does my wife Lisa, in fact it is the first time I will be saying this,” I thought I was going to be sick with stress or worry but I took a deep breath and said, “One day before I met Maxine, I was very down and depressed, everything had gone wrong, and I could see no way out. I just didn’t see the point of going on, I had lost all hope, I didn’t think anyone cared for me or loved me, and I knew I would not be missed, it was something I always thought I would never do, and had thought those that did do what I was thinking of doing, I had thought that they were weak,” I had kept my eyes down on the studio floor all the while I was talking. “I had little money, so I couldn’t buy what I had planned on buying the tablets and vodkas, but I had found a long strong rope, and I had seen the right place where I would go and use it, I wasn’t afraid, for I knew all the inner pain and anguish would soon be over and that I would have peace at last.” I went on, “I decided the following morning I would kill myself; I knew I would be a faceless statistic, but I didn’t care, nothing mattered anymore!” I felt a tear fall down my face, at that point, it came from a deep pain in my heart.

“That night, exhausted, I fell asleep and had a strange dream, that completely changed the course of my whole life, I decided to do exactly what I had seen in the dream, as it was that vivid, I had nothing to lose.”  I had gone over my time, but I went on, “The first place I was told to go was to the hairdressers, that had all gone well like in the dream, then I went to an expensive gent’s shop, then at the interview, the very next morning I met Maxine, so in a few short hours, instead of dying, I Lived!”

I now looked up at Maxine, sitting there in the back, she gave me her little smile, that I knew it meant, everything was OK, I carried on, “I would do anything for Maxine, for just like in the dream, I was informed, ‘She has my best interests at heart.’”