Obvious drivel

Where do I begin, it happened to me along time ago, but it's still
fresh in my mind, like it happened yesterday. The location was the back
of the night bus from trafalgar square on a cold hostile winters
evening. I had been drinking all day for the pre-Christmas celebrations
that serve to eat a whole in your pocket and knock down your immune
system sufficiently to ensure that you get the flu on Christmas Eve.
The trees were bare and the dark sky cloudless, it was crisp with the
certainty of frost in the morning.

The bus was empty and lights starkly bright and I sat in a dreamy
stupor of overindulgence. Sitting there looking out of the window I saw
late night revellers meandering home and then it struck me, why was the
bus empty? I had been to London few times but enough to realise that
night buses are always packed. It was like a fear welling up first just
a curiosity at first, then a confusion, until after a few minutes it
became a major concern. I shifted uneasily on the poorly upholstered
chair, and out of the corner of my eye I saw two passers by pointing at
the front of the bus, one looked startled the other held her hand over
her mouth in an act of dismay.

I watched as the bus passed them, I was beginning to panic now, what
had shocked them so? I wanted to know but a part of me didn't . I just
wanted off the bus now, I walked tentatively to the top of the stairs
and peered down. It looked normal, the lights were on downstairs, but
there was the sound of laughter. It wasn't happy laughter though it
was, what was it, it was maniacal laughter, something demented and
frightening. Now I was alarmed, I hesitated not knowing what to do. I
took the first steps sown the stairs, got to the bottom and paused, my
heart pounded in my chest. The laughter was terrifying and sustained
but the bus moved as though being driven by a regular driver, the
contradiction unhinged me.

Eventually after a few minutes I urged myself to look around the corner
of the stair to see where the laughter was coming from. Then I saw it.
The cabin where the driver would be was bursting with a hairy blue
mass, it was barely contained by the cab and a huge clawed foot spread
across the walk way. My heart almost exploded with terror at the sight,
all the hairs on my head and back seemed to scream out. What ever it
was then stopped it's laughter and slowly craned it's neck round. It's
features were that of a huge dog like beast. White spittle dribble from
it's enormous mouth and yellow teeth were exposed in a horrifying
growl.

I stood frozen at the base of the stairs, the beast left the wheel and
climbed into the walkway, it was huge, it hunkered under the low
ceiling of the bus and with one step was upon me. I cowered under his
overwhelming power as a massive claw swept across my face.

With a shudder I was jolted awake by the bus stopping, I opened my eyes
to the stark lights of the bus, it was empty still , I sat dazed with
the start of a monster hangover kicking in. An old shawaddywaddy
looking bus driver appeared at the top of the steps and walked towards
me, a teddy boy in his time he still had the main of black hair, but
now a full moustache as well.

"What, fell asleep" He said in a gruff voice.
"Come on, off you get."

I stumbled down the stairs into the cold and stretched, I didn't know
where I was but I knew I had a long walk home, maybe when I got home it
would be time for a bit of a hair of the dog.