Ghosts (Book 1 Part 6)

“So, you hired a prostitute last night?” Vera’s sudden intrusion into my sleep, with an iciness that was not common on her tongue, cut me like a blade. My head hurt, I was slightly nauseous, and my body felt like it had taken a bad beating. It had taken a bad beating, a self-inflicted ass-kicking that I induced through the bottle.

I decided to play dumb, get the blackout angle working for me. “I don’t know what I did last night.”

“Well, I do. You went out with your classmate from England, and you spent very much money on clubs and drinks, not to mention the money you spent hiring a woman to fuck. Do you think that Violet shows you where money is so that you can spend it on whores?”

“Maybe. I’m sure that if she disapproved, she would let me know.” I did not feel up to arguing with Vera at all, but I was also getting angry at her self-righteous indignation.

“Ulie,” she said, exasperation very much evident in her voice, “What about me? I’m here for you.”

“Vera, you are fucking married. You are here because of the Circle of Delphi. They say ‘jump,’ and you say, ‘Who shall I fuck?’”

“That’s not fair Ulie. It’s more than that with us. What about San Francisco? We were very close then.” Tears began welling up in her eyes and her voice was beginning to falter.

“That’s in the past. The present situation is this: You are married. I am an asshole, but a single asshole with no strings attached to anyone. I don’t know how much money The Circle pays you, but they tell you to entertain me, try to get me compliant with whatever agenda they have for me and you use your pussy to do it. So, who is the whore now?”

Vera’s eyes finally let loose. “It’s more than sex…” She inhaled as if to speak again, but said no more.

“Tell that to your fucking husband, not me. Whatever we had in San Francisco is dead. There isn’t even a ghost left of that.”

Vera put her head in her hands and slowly walked into the bathroom to lock the door. I felt very rotten, but in some ways I needed to vocalize the things I said. I could not let myself fall for her again. It did not end well in California, and I no longer had any illusions that it would end well in Shanghai.

It was true about my indiscrepancy the night prior. I had indeed hired a woman for sex. It seemed like a great idea at the time in my alcohol induced stupor. After a night on the town wasting much money at several trendy clubs, spending a ridiculous amount to both enter these clubs and to drink at them, Will and I decided to try our luck at a massage parlor.

There were basically four girls that we could see through the window, engaged in various activities, one of them was crocheting something on her bed-chair. When we walked in a man told us to pick one for a “massage.” Will immediately picked the two prettiest girls and was off in another room in the space of less than a minute. My strange integrity didn’t allow me to pick one as I didn’t want the remaining girl to feel badly about not being chosen. Eventually the man picked one for me as he perhaps thought I was too stupid. There was not even any pretense at a massage as soon as we were in a back room the girl without delay began undressing and motioned for me to do the same. Once she was undressed, she positioned herself on her back on the bed and spread her legs open wide, knees and feet up in the air, patiently waiting for me to disrobe.

Vera remained in the bathroom for roughly thirty minutes. Just as I was on the brink of sleep again, she emerged from her self-styled sanctuary. “You need to get up and go to class.”

“I’m not going today.”

“Ulie, what if you fail this class? You need to go.”

“I don’t need to do anything.” It became obvious to me at that time that to regain sleep might be difficult.

“Ulie…” She didn’t seem to know what she wanted to say, or was having trouble saying it.

“Look, if Will can miss class today, and I’m sure he very much will miss class, then so can I.”

“Will is not going to miss class. He is already awake and preparing to go.”

“How do you know all this shit? How did you know where I was last night? How do you know Will is going to class?”

“We have our ways.”

I had my head turned away from her, refusing to look at her. “You know too much about everything, Vera. I don’t like it.”

“I think I should leave. I will have The Circle send a replacement.”

“Don’t bother. Let me enjoy my time in Shanghai without you people monitoring my every move.”

“We’re here to help.”

“I don’t want or need your help anymore. Help me again when I go to Wuhan. Leave me alone for now.”

“I guess I’ll leave today, go back home to Shenzhen.”

Silence permeated the room. I suppose that she was waiting for me to say something. For my part I kept quiet, wondering if she would actually leave. I wanted her to stay, but I needed her to leave. I did love her. I do love her. I was tired of failed relationships, tired of caring about women, tired of losing them. I was tired of all things female.

“If you want me to stay, I will. Just tell me to stay.”

I said nothing as Vera unobtrusively packed her bag.